birkeland life

i've been a little mia the past few weeks..sorry.

so much has been going on though.

i had classes, i work, and i've had a lot of family stuff goin on. i'm totally slackin' in the 'writing/blogging' department. but oh well, i'll catch up eventually.

my dad died june 30th, so it's been a really rough month. i haven't written anything since and i'm not really sure what to even write about. i know that i should be happy just because i know that i'll be with him again eventually, and he isn't in pain anymore, which i am happy about. but i'm just having a really hard time with it and i just don't ever feel like doing anything. nothing has ever effected me this much before, or in this way. we were so close and it's just hard to imagine not being able to talk to him anymore.

i went home for the first time since the funeral, and it definitely was not easy i just kept imagining him walking out of the room and talking to my mom and me, but it never happened. it was the first time i really talked about him since it happened. i got home at around 12 am, and my mom was still awake. so we just hung out and talked until about 2 am, and i really needed that. it was a lot of talking and crying, but also a lot of reminiscing and laughter. death is always sad, but it always makes me forget the bad times and only remember the best times.

so i guess that's really all that has been going on, but that's plenty.