Being more Christlike in our communication


2.16.2017



This past Sunday Hamilton and I were asked to give talks in church. Definitely not our favorite thing at all haha. We may seem put together and outgoing, but we both get extremely nervous to talk in front of people. Small groups are more our thing.
Anyways, we were given the topic of Christlike communication and after so much prayer and research I have found out a lot about myself and my relationships with others. Hamilton's talk was so amazing and he said some things that really resonated with a lot of people. Some of this post will come from his talk too because I think it was really great and he explained the things we do when it comes to our marriage more than I did.

As I'm sure most of you know, I am Mormon. So, this post may have a few quotes from our church leaders or from the Book of Mormon.

The LDS church defines Christlike communication like this: "True disciples of Jesus Christ seek to follow His example in the ways they communicate. Their communications, both verbal and nonverbal, are to be kind, compassionate, and helpful, reflecting a love for Heavenly Father's children and an understanding that all people are brother's and sister's."
I absolutely love this definition. I think it is so important that we remember our communication is so much more that what we say. It includes our body language, facial expressions, and what we say and do on social media. I also think it is so important to remember that EVERYONE is our brother and sister, not just our blood or law relatives. We all have our own beliefs, whether they are religions, faith, spiritual, or nonexistent, we all believe something! But for those of us who call ourselves Christians, we need to act like it by treating everyone the way we would like to be treated and treating them like our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Now let's talk about the marriage side of communication for a quick minute.
Mark Ogletree wrote, "Marriage experts Sandra Blakeslee and Judith S. Wallerstein have written, "A marriage that does not provide nurturance and restorative comfort can die of emotional malnutrition." Communication that validates is edifying, healing, nurturing, and complimentary. In this level of communication, we express praise and compliments to those we care about. Almost every relationship will thrive if there is a healthy dose of validation."
I LOVE this so much. I think that it is something that is so overlooked in marriages. Validation may seem silly like I don't really need Hamilton to tell me what I'm doing is good or not or to complement everything I'm doing, but it helps me feel so much more confident when he does. It is something that I personally really need from him. He doesn't really need that from me as much, which leads me to my next point.
Talk with your significant other! Find out what they need. Different people need different things. There are so many different types of communication and some people connect better and get the feels with different types. For me, it's validation and kindness. For Hamilton, it's more so just being an active listener and someone who will listen and interact with all his stories. And he needs a little bit of validation sprinkled in there too, every once in awhile, lol. Everyone needs something different, so be patient and learn with each other.

Okay, one more quote from Mark Ogletree, "I have learned over the years that healthy communication affects both the heart and the mind. If we can communicate better - meaning more clearly and concisely - then we can forge deeper emotional connections, resolve conflicts, and strengthens the bonds in our marital relationships."
He specifically says that this will help marital bonds, but I know these things can strengthen any relationship. I know that when I do my best to speak out of love and present myself in a way that is christlike, I am much happier and feel much more fulfilled at the end of the day. I also know that my mind is much more positive and I am just overall in a more positive and loving mood. This is definitely something that rings very true in my life!

Soo, this post is kind of getting long. I'll either do a part 2 (if you want) with Ham's thoughts and stuff, or I won't haha. I have really put a lot of work into this post. I wasn't sure what to say or where to start, but I know that these things have really helped me in every. single. relationship. I have in my life. Of course, these help the most with my relationship with my hubby, but I am with him the most and talk to him the most, so that makes sense!


I hope you enjoyed this and foreals...let me know if you wanna hear Ham's side!

xoxo, Jacquelyn

Boy Scout Island Birthday Camping


2.08.2017













The night before my birthday (Tuesday night) we canoed out to an island that's about a mile away from the mainland. It was a long ride there because there was a crazy amount of wind and the current was taking us in every direction EXCEPT the one we were going in...but we finally made it there and it was already dark, which wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. We brought our lanterns and flashlights, so we were set.

The very first thing we did when we got there was to walk around the whole island. Ham has been there before, but I had not, so he wanted to show me around. We didn't think anyone else would be there on a random Tuesday night, but there was. They were super nice and they were on the opposite side, so we didn't care.
Once we got back to our site, we set up our hammocks and the tarp (which took us a little bit of time.) Then we started the fire. We just hung out for a while and talked by the fire. We went to bed by like 10, because we're always tired haha.

Around 1 am, the people on the other side of the island decided to go for a walk. Somehow their group of 3, turned into a group of 10...and they decided to walk by us and whistle and yell and just be super obnoxious. It was fine, though, they didn't stick around for too long, but it still woke us both up. After we finally fell back asleep, we got woken up again at 2 am. From a crazy storm! I woke up from the light of the lightning and I think that's what woke Ham up too...

So we were hanging in our hammocks and all the sudden it was lightning and thundering on top of us, or so it seemed. It was so scary because it was so bright it hurt our eyes and so loud it hurt our ears. Hamilton ran over to the other people's camp to see if they were heading back to the mainland (they had an actual boat), but they weren't. He came back and just stood under the tarp because his hammock was on the bottom and was TOTALLY soaked since it was so windy and it was pouring. Hamilton offered a prayer because we were just so scared. 
Pretty much right after we prayed, the thunder was getting quieter and quieter. Thank goodness. So since Hammy's hammock was soaked, he jumped in mine and we tried so sleep. He was up and down all night and I don't think I slept more than an hour or two the rest of the night.

It was an adventure, that's for dang sure. 

Once we woke up we explored the island way more. The other campers were gone, so we were free to explore without disturbing anyone else. We tried to identify all the trees and found a little teeny tiny crab. 

We also totally suck at getting pictures together, so I included the only one we took haha. And it describes us perfectly! I'm sitting in the canoe while he just pushes us into the ocean.

Overall, it was tons of fun, and I reeeally want to go there again (not by canoe, though.)


xoxo, Jacquelyn

Current Favorites: Music


2.05.2017


Currently listening to these songs I'm about to list below! These are my current "top 10" favorite songs. These are not in any specific order and they are not all new. I really love each of these songs and had them all on repeat. Music is one of my biggest outlets and I love listening to other people's favorites and expanding my own.
I also don't have a favorite genre or anything. You'll be able to tell if you listen to these songs haha. They are so random and definitely are all very different.

1. Lions by Skip Marley

2. Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

3. Low Life 2.0 - Boehm Remix by X Ambassadors

4. Our Own House by MisterWives

5. All I Can Think About by Stop Light Observations

6. I Believe (Get Over Yourself) by Nico Vega

7. High by Zella Day

8. White Noise (R3hab Remix) by Ella Vos

9. Avalanche by Walk the Moon

10. Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

Music is my outlet. I just sit in the car with the music blasting and just vibe to it. I always have my music playing. I feel so connected to the lyrics and the emotion people have when they sing.
I might do another list of 10 soon. I have tons of favorites, but I don't want to make a list of like 50 songs. Instead, I'll just make a part two or something. Or I'll just do this every few months!
Follow me on Spotify - Jacquelyn Birkeland. Also, let me know if you listened to these and what you thought! Or tell me what your favs are.
*I have not seen all these music videos so I'm sorry if any of them are inappropriate.

xoxo, Jacquelyn

Valentine's picks for the man in your life


2.04.2017

Valentine's Day is right around the corner! I know so many people "don't believe" in it or don't like to celebrate Valentine's Day, but I love it. It is a day all about celebrating the love you have for each other. I know it seems silly and people say "well you should be loving and celebrating your love each day." That is definitely true, and something Hamilton and I really aim to do, but I love having a specific holiday surrounding love.
Hamilton isn't a huge gift giver, and that's totally okay, but I love giving gifts. It doesn't matter who it is, that is one of the ways I show my love for the people I know and care about.
I have some awesome gift ideas for your hubby or boyfriend or whoever you want to get these for!


// For the guy who doesn't have a classy watch yet: Fossil Men's Leather Watch


// For the watch lover:  6-slot Leather Watch Box

// For the book lover: The Last Juror


// For the hipster tie-wearer: Men's Cotton Neck Tie

// For the camper: Winner Outfitters Double Camping Hammock (this is our absolute FAVORITE camping item)

// For the traveler: Leather Canvas Toiletry Bag


// For the one who likes challenging games that make you think: Rummikub


We already own pretty much all of these and I know Hamilton really loves them! Like John Grisham is his favorite author. I have never seen him go through a book like he went through The Last Juror, and he is NOT a reader. So, if you have a guy who kinda likes to read but doesn't want to start, look into these books!


xoxo, Jacquelyn

February Inspiration


2.02.2017


So, I have been really trying (for the whole one month we've had so far in 2017...lol) to pick one quote a month to try and live by. I really love looking up and finding new quotes. Inspirational sayings are my absolute fav. I have decided to find a scripture too. I have been having a hard time sticking to my daily scripture reading/studying. I think that maybe if I focus on one specific scripture each month, I will be able to remember to read each day.


My reasoning behind picking the above quote is decluttering. Hamilton and I have been discussing becoming more minimalistic a ton lately. This will definitely be more difficult for me than him, but we are going to go into this together and push each other. Our home is so cluttered and we really need to eliminate some stuff. I am picking this quote to really push us into the right direction.
So far we have gone through our clothes and I have gotten rid of a few other things that I just really don't use. I tried to get rid of some books, but I can't. I collect books and they make me so happy. I absolutely love having full bookshelves, soo I decided that those are things I don't need to get rid of. If they bring me joy, there is no reason to get rid of them (channeling my inner Emily Gilmore.) Our next declutter battle is going to be our front porch. If you didn't know us and you were to just look onto our porch, you would think we were hoarders....that is not fun and I'm ready to make a change. I also love how much lighter and happier I am already feeling just from getting rid of a few things.


The scripture I chose has a deep meaning to me. I love it so much and somehow this is the one that always pops up on my Pinterest, or in a Sunday school lesson right when I need it most. I know that as long as I am following the promptings of the spirit and Heavenly Father, I won't fall.
- He will lift me up when I'm struggling.
- He will pull me out of the darkness when I turn to him.
- He will sustain me in all I do when I look to Him for help.
- He will surround me with His love when I am not feeling loved.
I need these reminders more often than I would like to admit, but it is amazing to me how much Heavenly Father knows me. He knows when I am needing an extra push and He is right there to push and pull me towards greatness. My current calling in the church has put some stress and worries on me, but I know that as long as I turn to him with that, He will help me so much!

I really love that I am doing this monthly because I live my life by quotes! I read so many quotes on the daily and they help me feel inspired in all aspects of my life. It's a super cheesy thing about me, but oh well! I don't care! I also think this will help me to grow as a person so much.
Anyways, if any of you are doing this too, let me know which quotes or scriptures you are using this month!


xoxo, Jacquelyn

Things to tell your husband


1.31.2017






These are just a few things that I really feel help build up my husband. As a woman, I feel like my husband goes so out of his way to make sure I feel beautiful and loved, but I don't do that as much for him. I really think it is something that many of us women don't do for the men in our lives, and that makes sense. It isn't something that we are told we should do. It isn't something people tell you when you ask for marriage advice. It is just something that is so overlooked.

Lately, I have been trying to make an effort to let my husband know what he means to me. I have just a few things that I would recommend saying to your hubs on a more regular basis.
For me, I don't tell him these things daily, but I really try to say at least one uplifting and very loving thing a week. Obviously, I am always loving towards him, but these are things that are just a little extra. I also don't want them to lose their meaning so I don't want to overuse them.


// You're my best friend.
This is something I say to Hamilton once in awhile and I absolutely love the way he reacts to it. If he's on his phone, he will immediately put his phone down and give me a huge hug. I have found that this is something he loves to hear so much. For us, we spend so much time together, but it is easy to forget that we really are besties.

// I am so happy we met on that day (whenever you met).
Spend a little time reminiscing, but do it from your point of view. Tell him what thoughts you had about him at first. Usually, this makes us laugh so hard because the VERY first time we met, neither of us really liked each other haha. It's fun to hear the others point of view. But use your own discretion because some people are more sensitive and may not want to hear certain things you thought.

// You are such an amazing husband, father, worker, provider (whatever you think he needs to hear at that time).
Some weeks are really rough. Hamilton will come home from work some days and just tell me about how hard it was. These are the days that I make sure to tell him uplifting things. Because he is such a hard worker and he doesn't always think he is.

// Thank you for always supporting me.
My husband doesn't necessarily agree with everything I think, say or do, but he always stands behind me and supports what I am doing. Obviously, if I'm doing anything super crazy he'll let me know, but he really does support me in every way. Also be sure to recognize that your significant other may not support you in the same way as someone else's.

// Tell him 5 things you love about him.
Whenever we get into an argument or after an argument, one of us will usually ask the other, "what do you love about me?" This really helps change the mood and help us get back to that place of love.
I would recommend doing this at other times, though, too. This shouldn't just be a way to change the mood after a fight. This should be something you do on a regular basis. It is so important to regularly remind each other of why you love them. There are so many things that make us up as people, and it is such a nice reminder to be told those specific things.


I hope you take some of these and apply them in your life. They have really helped us uplift and make our marriage more beautiful. These things really help my husband feel loved and appreciated. If you have any others that are different, comment them down below! I would love to hear the things you all do as well.

xoxo, Jacquelyn

Women's March Thoughts


1.28.2017

I know that there have been plenty of articles about this subject already but I have been doing some deep thinking lately and really felt inclined to share. I'm sure we are all perfectly aware of the things going on in the world (especially our own country) right now and these are just a few of my opinions and thoughts on the matter. I have been writing this since I heard about the march. I have just been trying to figure out what to say, and I hope these words are taken with love. Also, I do not want to get into a political debate, that is not what this is about. Please refrain from any of those comments.

I am not someone who supported or was against the women's march. I myself, wouldn't have marched, but that's a personal choice. The things the ladies were marching for specifically I don't totally support, but that's another topic for another day.
I am incredibly amazed by the peacefulness of the march. Many protests in today's society are violent and include massive terrorization of the cities they themselves call home. So, I am very impressed by the way the whole thing was handled.

Society is all about telling us what to be, what to wear, how our bodies should look, how we should eat, etc. Society does not rule out lives. We do. The only way we can even attempt to overtake these insane views the media and society, as a whole, put on us is to stand together and "march" against it. Women tend to be the first ones to criticize the media and society, yet they continue to tear one another down. I am guilty of it just as much as anyone else. We need to start making a conscious effort as women to lift each other up.
  - And I will say that I am proud of the brands that have stopped using photoshop and accepting all models. We are definitely making steps in the right direction.

I almost transferred high schools because I got bullied and talked about. I was miserable and a lot of people knew what was happening and they would join in on it. No one tried to help. I didn't have anyone on my side and it was a horrible time in my life. I was helpless. I look back on my middle school and early high school years and feel so bad for that young girl. She was weak and scared. She had some amazing friends, but most of them were not at the same school. If I had other girls standing behind me and helping me through that time I would have probably really enjoyed that time in my life. I know I am not the only one who has had these experiences, but we can put an end to that. IF we can stand together and stand by the side of our fellow women and especially young girls.
I have tried so hard to make an effort to all the women I know and the ones I don't. I have gone out of my way to talk to the girls who seem sad or seem like they don't have many friends. I know that by doing those small things, just being a friend or just saying "hello" to someone new can make someone's day so much better. This has also made my own life better. It has given me fulfillment and meaning. I have seen a change in myself and the relationships I have. I know so many people try to be kind. I read stories daily of women lifting up other women and it makes my heart so happy. Could you imagine if 1/2 or even 1/4 of us did that every day, though? This world would be a better and safer place.

I know many strong and beautiful women, and you want to know the things that make them so wonderful? They are full of love. They are forgiving. They don't let what others think about them bring them down. They stand up for other people and other women. They are 100% themselves 100% of the time. That is what's wonderful about them.
I could list a ton of ladies I admire and look up to (most are even in my own family), but those women are already trying, doing, and practicing these things.

Could you imagine a world where we don't body shame? Or a world where media and society have no power over us? Or a world where we don't speak ill of other women?
I can, and it is a beautiful place that we should all strive to be a part of.
I may not support the things the women were marching for, but I do support them standing up together and loving one another. I am happy to live in a world where we were and are able to peacefully stand together, but there is more we need to be doing in our daily lives. That was one day, we need to be doing these things and standing with other women every. single. day.

1 John 4: 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.


Romans 13: 10 Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

"See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see." - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Next time you overhear someone being mean to their waitress, tell her she's worthy of kindness. Next time you see that girl in the bathroom crying, tell her how beautiful she is. Next time you overhear someone being brought down by others, take a stand against it. You can make a huge impact in someone's life.


xoxo, Jacquelyn

reading list


1.27.2017

I started reading again at the beginning of 2016 and I read quite a few books. I stopped right in the middle of all the Harry Potter books, though....so I want to do my best to read at least one book a month this year. I love reading and writing. I think the best way to continue to learn and grow is by reading! Especially since I want to be an English teacher. I have a few already on my list and I would love some recommendations. Of course, I have to finish the Harry Potter series first, though.


Also, I don't own all of these books yet, so they are not in the above photo. But I just put some of my favs in the pic! You can find them under My Favorites tab!

1. Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix by J. K. Rowling

2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling

3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling

4. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

5. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

6. The Silent Wife by A. S. A. Harrison

7. The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty

8. What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

9. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

10. Wild by Cheryl Strayed

11. What Comes Next and How to Like It by Abigail Thomas

12. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin


I already own half of these so there is no excuse to at least read half! I have such a passion for reading and writing. I have since I was a little girl. My mom still has my journals from when I was younger. I would stay up so late just making up stories! They would be about fishing, princesses, animals, and all the other things a little girl loves. I am so happy my mom still has some of those journals because they are SO funny! I love reading the things that went through my mind when I was five or eight or twelve years old.

xoxo, Jacquelyn

Grow


1.25.2017


I have been struggling kind of a lot lately. There have been such HUGE life changes in the past two-three years. I know that sounds like a long time for things to still be affecting me, but when you lose a loved one or get married, those are things that will probably affect you for the rest of your life. The thing is that you can choose how it affects you. You can have a positive or negative outlook. You can grow from it or you could not. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is to stop growing or stop trying.
I know we get stuck in ruts and life happens. We get into routines and that gets comfortable, but in my opinion, that is how a lot of us stop growing. Routines are wonderful things! Having a morning routine or a nighttime routine is great and it can actually be really good for your health. Start changing other things up. Switch up the meals you eat, change where you and your significant other go on dates or vacations. Go to new places, I can guarantee that there is some place, some park you haven't been to in your local or neighboring town.
Hamilton and I have a rule when we go out to eat, especially if we are traveling. Only new restaurants. We can't eat at any places we've been to before. We also try not to go to the same place twice. There are a few places we've absolutely fallen in love with and I'm sure we will go visit them again. BUT there are so many beautiful state parks and amazing places so close to us that we haven't been to yet!
I also try really hard to come up with new and interesting date nights. For example, we got into a rut where we would just order pizza and watch a movie, or we wouldn't have a date night at all! And trust me, I have nothing against getting pizza and a movie! Pizza is my favorite haha. I love spending any time with my hubs, but I wanted to get outside and do new and interesting things. So I started to brainstorm some new ideas. One night we went to the beach and had a picnic during the sunset and it was absolutely beautiful! Plus neither of us had cell service so it was pretty awesome to just spend time being quite and actually talking to each other.

I know this post probably seems a little all over the place, but for me, all these things really go together. I am not a person who can do the same things over and over again. So for me to continue growing I really have to continually change things up. That isn't to say that I don't have certain things that I do every single day.
For example, I (try to) always read my scriptures and pray. I always check and write new things in my planner. I always try to journal or write something on my blog (I have TONS of posts that I have written that I just haven't shared yet). There is absolutely nothing wrong with having set routines and set plans for yourself every day! These are all simply my opinions and what works for me.

So here are a few of my tips to keeping things new and fresh.

1. Go to your local farmers market instead of your regular grocery store.

2. Read a book that is outside of what you usually read. Especially if you usually only read fiction! Try to read something that is nonfiction too!

3. Watch a documentary instead of the same show or movie on Netflix. I have been doing this lately and I love it! I feel so much better afterward because I actually learned a thing or two. And I know a lot of the times they can be biased, so then I can do some research and see what the whole scoop is.

4. Branch out and listen to some new music!

5. Instead of going for a walk or run down the same street, drive to your local park! It may be out of the way, but trust me, you'll enjoy it so much more. I've been trying a lot lately to do this and it is so much more fun! I'm not looking at the same stuff all the time!

6. Go camping instead of staying in a hotel.

7. Don't just read those inspirational quotes on Pinterest, instead pick one each week and try to live it.
This is the one I'm working on this week.

8. Make one new recipe every week. Some people make new recipes all the time, but I am someone who just makes the same things all the time. I don't know why because I love to cook!

9. Try to eat breakfast every day. I struggle with this. I mean I didn't even eat breakfast this morning! But I do know it makes a HUGE difference in my attitude when I do.

10. Challenge yourself to do something you're afraid of. This is something I really try to do, but never can. There isn't a whole lot I'm afraid of, but the things I am afraid of...I am REALLY afraid of...I will say that I am afraid of putting myself out there and I have done a really good job at opening up to people when I usually wouldn't.

I could really go on forever. Maybe I'll do a part two soon. These are just some of the things that really have helped me continue to grow and develop as a person. I feel like the past two years I have truly learned and grown so much more than I ever have. I have made a conscious effort to do the best I can and to not get stuck in a continuous cycle of the same things over and over again.


xoxo, Jacquelyn

Why I started my blog


1.24.2017


I started my blog in summer of 2013 after I graduated high school. So, I've had it for quite some time haha. I was really good about posting for the first year, then I stopped for a few months. I have been blogging off and on since then. My new years resolution was to start posting regularly again. Because it has really been sporadic the past year and it is something I'm pretty passionate about!

I figured this would be a really good way to document my life and the things that happen. It was such an awesome outlet for me and it helped me a ton. I moved to Orlando for college and I really had a hard time for the first few months. My boyfriend was away for his two-year mission (no, that's not my husband) and I didn't know anyone.

I tried to make friends and go to all of the activities my church offered, but I was still having a hard time. So this blog was an amazing outlet for me. It helped me get through the tough times (and there have been a ton.) I didn't have a ton of followers, but that really isn't what matters to me. This blog is here for me to write about things I'm passionate about and let out some emotion once in awhile.

Anyways, so basically I started this blog because I truly thought it would really help me stay sane (and it has.) Plus I absolutely love writing. It is something I have loved since I can remember. When I was a little girl I would have TONS of notebooks full of stories that I would write. I was always so proud of them and thought I could write children's books. Which was a dream of mine for a long time, but my new dream is to write a fiction novel. I actually have a little bit that I've written and a whole outline of what I want to write and I think it could be really good! Maybe I'll post a little excerpt to see what you all think! We shall see.

So that's kind of all guys. I don't have a crazy story about why I started blogging. It has definitely changed and transformed over the past 4 years and I don't even think you can find my first posts haha. I have deleted/made them private. I don't even have the same name that I did when I started. I changed the name of my blog pretty much right after I got married. I am planning on buying my domain name and have been for awhile so I wanted to make sure I had my new last name there for awhile before I did that!

I hope you enjoyed this and that you got a little insight as to why I do what I do! Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great week :)


xoxo, Jacquelyn



Things I learned after marriage


1.22.2017


Before we got married we got a TON of different advice! Everyone wanted to tell us what to or not to do, which I feel like that's pretty normal. I just love hearing what everyone says! We had a box at our wedding where people would write down their advice for us, I really have enjoyed reading all of them.
However, there are a few things that I have learned through this last year and a half. Some of it is the total opposite of what some people told us, and that's okay! Our relationship is different for everyone else's. Different things work for us that maybe don't work for others. I've listed my top 5 things that I have learned, some of it was advice and some....was the opposite of the advice we got haha.


1. Stop picking! We don't need to nag or tear each other down for small things. For example, Hamilton has a habit of leaving his work clothes by the front door and it drives me nuts! I ask him all the time to just put them in the hamper. Sometimes it makes me decently angry just because I always repeat myself, but honestly, those clothes aren't making me unhappy. The arguing and constant picking is making me unhappy. This isn't something either of us has perfected, but we have gotten much better at it. We do our best at making a conscious effort to not pick each other apart. We also have gotten really good at calmly letting the other person know when they are picking.


2. Going to bed angry will most likely happen at some point. For us, I am usually the one that stays upset for longer. Hamilton gets over things super fast. Plus once he's tired and laying in bed, he'll be out in less than 5 minutes. He wakes up 6:05 every morning so I'm not going to hold it against him if he falls asleep. Besides, half the time we're both just tired and bickering to bicker, so nothing would ever get resolved. 


3. Talk about all the feelings you have, even if the feelings aren't necessarily about each other. I find that my emotions will build up if I don't talk about them. I'm a pretty emotional person (no, I don't cry about everything) so I need to talk and let things out; otherwise, I'll explode and take it out on Ham. That isn't good for either of us. Especially because he didn't do anything wrong and I'm not even mad/sad/upset at him.


4. Support each other's passions/things they love. This probably sounds pretty obvious, like, "DUH, of course, I support my husband/wife!" This kinda goes deeper than you'd think. For example, Hamilton LOVES music and will get really excited to show me a certain song or genre. I typically don't like a decent about of the music he shows me. He loves classical and 80's and retrofuture music. I don't like any of those..except classical on Sundays. So, he'll play me a song and then ask me what I think, and I'm always honest "I don't like it, can we change it please." That kinda upsets him because it's something he loves and is passionate about! It is so much better when I just say, "it wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't bad."


5. Take a picture at every place you visit together! This is something I used to be really bad about. I am really good at taking pictures of the places we go, but not us at those places. I really regret that because there are some places we've been to and we don't have a single picture of us there! I've gotten better, though!



I decided to ask Ham what he has learned too and this is what he said:

1. When your wife says she wants a cat, you get a cat.
2. When your wife says she wants a dog, don't get a dog.
3. I learned what the word "hangry" means


There are probably so many more things that I just can't think of haha! Does anyone else have a hard time coming up with a list of things when you're actually trying to think about them? I definitely do haha! Anyways, I hope you had a good Sunday and have a good Monday tomorrow!


xoxo, Jacquelyn
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