hello?

the past two weeks have been dragging and draining, to say the least.
i feel like i'm just holding on by a string and at any moment i could snap. it just seems like life is becoming too overwhelming and stressful and i'm not sure how to handle it this time. usually i can handle it really well, but this time is different.
i have so much homework everyday, and the pressure is really on to find a new job and start working a heck of a lot more. i feel like i'm being worked really hard, but i'm not. emotionally, i'm not there at all, and i think that's the real problem. if i could gather my emotions and just talk about them and figure out what's going on inside my head, i'll be much better off. 

but i know what the real problem is.. i'm not being the best me i can be. i'm not being as Christlike as i can be, and it needs to change. 
there has been so much going on lately and it has been so overwhelming that i don't really know what to do or how to deal with it. but today i went to a lesson with the sister missionaries, and i prayed before i went to the lesson so i could have the spirit, but in the lesson i wasn't really there. i was zoning out and i just wasn't fully there. and after i left i realized that i need to make a big switch. my dad dying has put this black cloud over me, and that's okay. everyone deals with grief differently. there is no right or wrong way. but that doesn't give me an excuse not to be doing my daily scripture study and all those things. 
i was doing so well with everything and i was so sensitive to the spirit, and it was like a switch went off in me somewhere. but it just turned back on, and on it will stay.

i'm excited to read my scriptures and be sensitive to the spirit again. and i'm so very excited for general conference next month! i really cannot wait. it's the best ever. 


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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wise words.

life lately has been a bit overwhelming.
school is crazy. so much homework, i feel like that's all i do lately. but oh well #collegestatus

as you can tell, i kind of gave up on that 30 day challenge thing..oh well. i don't have time for that right now.
as overwhelming and tough this week has been, there are still so many things that i'm grateful for.
last weekend i was able to go to bradenton for the long weekend and it was so fun. Hammy came with me and got to meet my family and that went well. we all went on the boat and to the beach and just had a ton of fun. but it was hard to come back to orlando. i'm not sure why, it was just harder than usual.
i have such a love/hate relationship with bradenton right now. i love coming here to see my family and stuff, but i don't like being here. all the memories of my dad come back and it's just more real when i'm here. and i want to have those memories and remember, it just makes it harder. then leaving bradenton is hard too. i want to just stay with my family sometimes, but i have to go to school and have my own life and blah blah blah.
that probably didn't make any sense..it's just a weird thing and hard to explain.

i'm glad i have such great friends in orlando though. and ham, he has been so good to and for me. and he doesn't mind my awful mood swings haha, he just makes me laugh, then it's all good.


i've been finding some great quotes lately though, and they have really helped me have a better attitude.

 sorry there are so many..that's what happens when i don't write anything for a few weeks, or however long it's been.

they've just helped me a lot on those extra rough/stressful days.
wise words to help us get through.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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likes // dislikes

>> ten likes and dislikes.
not sure if i'm supposed to do ten of each or just 5 and 5. i'll see how many i can think of.

let's start with the dislikes.

1. banana's. i only like them in my cheerios or smoothies, i just don't like the way they taste or smell or the texture..yuck.
2. indie music. i can appreciate it, but i don't like listening to it at all. there are very few songs that i like.
3. gen eds. i just want to take the classes that pertain to my major...not all these other random classes i'll never need.
4. not living in the same town as my family. i go home pretty often, but i wish we just lived in the same town again.
5. artificial strawberry. need i say more? yuck.

my likes.

1. chocolate. just about anything.
2. pizza. it's always a good idea.
3. my boyfrandd. it's pretty important that i like him haha.
4. tropical smoothie. i'm pretty obsessed with them. i could go there every.single.day and it would never get old.
5. acoustic music. i love it, i like the acoustic covers so much more than the actual songs a lot of the time.

i couldn't think of enough dislikes to make 10 of each haha, i guess that's good thing though!


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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basic

this whole challenge thing starts now, i guess.

a few basic things about myself :

> i've lived in florida my whole life.
> i have 5 older brothers.
> i went to high school in key west sophomore-senior year.
> i grew up catholic, but i'm mormon now - part of the story.
> my number one goal right now is to swim with some dang whale sharks.
> my family means everything to me and i would do anything for any of them.
> the ocean is my drug, i can't go very long without being near/in it.
> i'm pretty much obsessed with disney. 
> i'm also pretty super obsessed with tropical smoothie..their acai berry boost or the pomegranate/cranberry ones are my go to. 

> music is what gets me through the day most of the time. 
> i hate going to school, but i love learning..it's a give a take.
> i don't want to go to school, i just want to be a momma haha. but i know i need some sort of degree, so i'm working on getting that done.
> my major changes like every other week, but i always seem to go back to psych and eng. so i figure that i should stick with something i'm always interested in.
> if i could pick any career right now, i would either be an author/editor, or a counselor for high school aged students who are having a difficult time and/or are going through hard times.
> i'm not a big fan of indie/hipster things...i know, i know..get with the times. i just can't though haha.
> if i had to choose a famous lady to look up to, it would be Jacqueline Kennedy. she was so dang classy, and somehow stayed sane through the many losses in her family. 
          fun fact - i went to chicago and they had a museum type thing with all of her clothes..so classy.

i think that's about it.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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30 days.

so, i'm not going to start it yet. i'll start it tomorrow when it isn't midnight..
i need to get into the whole writing thing again. plus i think it'll help me a bit. 

so i'm sorry if i'm posting toooo much haha. kinda. not really. hehe.

xoxo,

jacquelyn

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normality?

i think it's about time to get back into the normal swing of things..we'll see how it goes. 

these past two months have been the longest months of my life..like ever. but it's okay. i'm working on things and trying to get myself back to a healthy and normal place. 
classes start in a week, and you could say i'm dreading it..a lot. but that's okay, it'll definitely keep me busy! and i'm going to key west not this weekend, but next. and i'm pretty dang excited. i definitely need to go and be on the water and just be a mermaid for a long weekend.

i have no idea what i'm writing about right now..i'm kind of just rambling until i get stuck on a topic..
it isn't really working the way it usually does haha. 
maybe i should just upload some photos..that sounds like a pretty good idea..

chelly left on her mission Aug. 5th..i miss my best friend..like a freakin lot...

 and this kid..he's pretty cool, you could say i like him a little more than a little :)

 bestie for the restie? i think so.

 i miss west coast florida sunsets

 and i miss my nieces.

 bout dang time you move to orlando. 

i love this gospel so much. i am beyond grateful for the truth and knowledge that i have.

i'm trying to live a more grateful and worthy of the spirit life. i lost it for a little bit after my dad died, but i'm trying to get back on track. despite everything that has been going on, i'm trying to find little things to be grateful for everyday. whether it's being thankful for a cloudy day, so it isn't so hot, or just being thankful for having the strength to get through another day. there really is so much to be grateful for, it's just a matter of opening your eyes and seeing them. 
happiness is a choice and i'm trying hard to make that choice everyday. some days it's easy, and some it's really hard. and sometimes i get a little consumed in it all, it's hard not to.

anyways, i guess that's all for today..my creative juices just aren't flowin' too well.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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m i a

i've been a little mia the past few weeks..sorry.

so much has been going on though. 

i had classes, i work, and i've had a lot of family stuff goin on. i'm totally slackin' in the 'writing/blogging' department. but oh well, i'll catch up eventually.

my dad died june 30th, so it's been a really rough month. i haven't written anything since and i'm not really sure what to even write about. i know that i should be happy just because i know that i'll be with him again eventually, and he isn't in pain anymore, which i am happy about. but i'm just having a really hard time with it and i just don't ever feel like doing anything. nothing has ever effected me this much before, or in this way. we were so close and it's just hard to imagine not being able to talk to him anymore.

i went home for the first time since the funeral, and it definitely was not easy  i just kept imagining him walking out of the room and talking to my mom and me, but it never happened. it was the first time i really talked about him since it happened. i got home at around 12 am, and my mom was still awake. so we just hung out and talked until about 2 am, and i really needed that. it was a lot of talking and crying, but also a lot of reminiscing and laughter. death is always sad, but it always makes me forget the bad times and only remember the best times.

so i guess that's really all that has been going on, but that's plenty.

 >> excuse how fat i look here..

picture overload #sorrynotsorry..

my parents are the best and coolest, obvi. I couldn't have asked for better ones even if i wanted to.

xoxo,

jacquelyn

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