the knowles family

she's my hero. my mother. my best friend. my favorite person. my go-to with absolutely everything. my best advice giver.
i dont know what i'm going to do for the next year and a half without her { or the rest of my family } just a phone call or short drive away...i know that i'm doing the right thing, it's just going to be hard at first.
she is such a beautiful person and such a role model. i know that i haven't been the perfect daughter. i've disappointed her, yelled at her, and hurt her more times than i'd ever like to admit. but that's why God made her my mom. He knew that no matter what i did, she would always love me and embrace me. i have been so blessed to have such a loving family.
my dad is so amazing and he would do anything to make sure i'm doing well and that i'm always protected. i know that no matter what is wrong, he will be my shoulder to cry on. he is always there for me. he will always make time for me. he is goofy and silly, but he knows when to be serious. he is the rock and the other half of the solid foundation this family is built on. he will cry with me, no matter how stupid it may be, he'll laugh with me/at me, no matter how stupid that may be haha.

{ some people say they're a momma's girl, some say they're a daddy's girl. but honestly, i can't choose. my parents are both amazing and i could talk to either of them about anything. sure, they give different advice and have different reactions, but i would go to either of them. they're so great and i respect them as my parents, but i also see them as more than just a mom and dad, i see them as best friends, the closest and bestest of friends. }

my brothers, they're a different story haha.
each of them is different. i love them all so much. i know that no matter how far away we may be, they will always have my back. they would do anything for me. i know they aren't perfect, but they're mine. i don't care what they may do or what mistakes they may make. i love them just the same and i will always stick up for them. family is stronger than anything. they're my blood. my friends. my people. the ones that will be there when everyone else is gone.
if you mess with one of us, you better expect all of us. i've got 5 of them. and one is my guardian angel, he can do damage without you even knowing. hehe, i've got protection from all angles
i have the best family, we are just as dysfunctional as anyone else. we are perfect in our imperfections. but we have each other. always. through thick and thin. it's all of us. forever.

clearly, my dad is the coolest. ^^

louis and john.

sam and i.

 louis and i.

and of course, satch and i. love and miss you always bro <3

and then there's lawrence. i don't have a picture of him, but he is awesome. i love him!

families are the greatest blessings, no matter what.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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the best

sundays are for sure my favorite days. they are so uplifting and make me so happy. i know that it is so important for me right now, and also, for future me, to go to church and learn all that i can. it's important for my happiness, wellbeing, spirituality, and so i can become closer and closer to my Heavenly Father. 

i know it's absolutely crazy that we { mormons } go to church for three whole hours. like what?
why so long? what could you possibly be doing for three hours?
well we have different classes, each hour has a different teacher and has a different message. we split up differently each hour. for a more in depth answer you can click here.
i know that we all have our own busy lives, but i also know that if we can just put aside sometime each day, specifically for Heavenly Father, we will be greatly blessed.

i love this church and know that it is true with all my heart and all my soul. the spirit testifies it to me everyday in some way. i know when i'm doing something good or making the right choices; because, i will have such an overwhelmingly wonderful feeling, burning in my bosom. and it goes the other way too, if i'm doing something bad, or not even bad, just not something that would not allow me to feel the spirit and grow, that great feeling goes away. once that feeling is gone, it is fairly easy to get it back again, but we have to truly repent and when we repent, we are telling Heavenly Father not only sorry, but that we will try our absolute best to avoid doing it again.
i cant wait to start my mission and bring others closer to our Heavenly Father, but that doesn't mean i'm going to wait until then to start! no, i'm going to do my very best to be a member missionary. i love this church so much and i want all of God's children to know just how much they mean to Him, and just how much He loves them! it is so exciting when someone will really listen to you! i don't want to just sit there and preach to people, i want to teach them and have them truly understand that this is the true church, and this is the way Heavenly Father wants us to go. it makes me so happy to see people willing to learn and accept these teachings. 

we had a baptism today, and it reminded me so much of my own baptism. the spirit was so strong and he was so happy. he was so prepared and ready to receive the message. it is so humbling to see someone admit that this is true and the moment they do, it seems like a light is turned on. they just have a glow. even before they're baptized. once they realize this is true and that this is the way, and they are willing to accept and act on it, their smile seems bigger.

i love sundays. they truly are the best, not just because we get the great blessing to attend church, but because we also receive the sacrament, and have beautiful people to teach us beautiful lessons. it is a time to learn and a time to relax. sundays are recovery days and preparation days. it is time to rest up for the coming week, and to learn and come closer to our Father in Heaven.

so blessed.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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temple tours

i know it's not the same as going inside the temple, but i think it can be just as uplifting (i probably wont think that in two-ish weeks though) 
but still, i just love the temple grounds. it is so comforting to just walk around and feel the spirit. i really love seeing everything. when i'm on the temple grounds, it just seems like all the flowers are brighter, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer and more mesmerizing, and the temple itself is just spectacular and perfect in every way.
i really cannot wait until the day i get to go inside. that day is coming so fast. in just 20 short days, i get to go inside and see the temple in all its glory! i finally get to learn and understand and just take it all in. i am just so excited.
as soon as i see it, i automatically am speechless. i just love to look at it and be close to it. when i move, i definitely have to make sure the temple is as close as possible haha. but forreals, i already love it there.
the day i get to go inside is going to be amazing.

march 15, 2014. that is my day. and nothing else in the world matters. it is going to be beautiful and so amazing. i already know it.

i definitely have a few favorites haha. everyone does, whether they admit it or not!
definitely not in any order, but i cant wait to visit them all!

 fort lauderdale, fl.

 houstin, tx.

 logan, ut. (the one i will be sealed in)

 manhattan, ny.

 mount timpanogos, ut.

 salt lake city, ut.

washington dc.

 guayaguil, equador.

 las angeles, ca.

 oakland, ca.

 tegucigalpa, honduras.

 toronto, ontario. 

vancouver british columbia. 

sorry if that was overwhelming. i have a lot of favorites haha. i would love to go to any and all of them though. and one day maybe i'll visit at least a few of these!
and if you're interested in knowing/learning more about these sacred places, just click here.

xoxo,

jacquelyn 

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unconditional love

so I have to give a talk this Sunday, and I really have no idea what to talk about. My topic is faith, repentance, and baptism. could it be any more broad? it gives me a lot of wiggle room, so that's good. I just don't really know what direction I want to go with it! oh well, I'll figure it out.
I also received all my visa paperwork..it's so much and it's kinda confusing. I really need to get it done asap. So I guess I should really get on that. I'll get my photos taken and fingerprints taken tomorrow, after work.

I went with the missionaries today and they told me that I need to be teaching the lessons now. uhhh, okay? I guess I do need to start preparing more. it was good though. I felt confident with what we were teaching and talking about. it showed me that I know more than I think I do, and that definitely helps. especially when I'm well on my way to being a missionary haha.

my family, especially my parents, are so supportive of me going on my mission. it really surprised me! Heavenly Father really does answer our prayers. He doesn't always do it right away, or in the way we expect it, but He does. He will never fail us. He knows up and loves us more than anyone else ever could. it's difficult to remember sometimes, but it is true. we think we can  do it all on our own, but we cant. our pride gets in the way of Him helping and blessing us. it hurts Him to know that we feel like we don't need Him. but he always forgives us as soon as we turn back to him. that is the most amazing part. He doesn't hold grudges, He doesn't love us less, He continues to love us and want us despite the sins we commit and mistakes we may make.
God is perfect. His church is perfect. Temples are perfect. the gospel and teachings are perfect. the people are not. we are far from perfect. that is why we need the atonement so much. I need the atonement each and every day of my life. it is hard to imagine life without it. I think about how far away I have strayed sometimes, and think about if I didn't have the atonement after those times. boy, would I be a mess. everyone would be. we wouldn't have this church, there's a lot of things we wouldn't have. but God loves us, each and every one of us. we are all His children. and a perfect Father would never abandon his children.
God would never abandon us. that is why He gives us all of these beautiful things. that is why He blesses us, even when we don't think we deserve it, even when we don't deserve it.
His love is perfect and something we will never be able to comprehend. this life is here to challenge us. we chose to come to earth. we made the decision to follow God and Jesus Christ's examples. it is our job to turn to Heavenly Father and ask for His help, and sacrifice, and do all that we can do to show Him we love Him and want to follow Him. if we can just do our part, He will meet us more than halfway there.
it is up to us. simple as that. He will always love us. but we must also always love Him.
He will always leave the 99 sheep to go find just one. He wants all of us, not just a few, not most, but all.

today really strengthened my testimony on faith and trusting the Lord.
I think I may have just found what I'm going to talk about on Sunday haha.

well, it's way past my bedtime..
peace.

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i can do what i want

It's my birthday.

February 8, 1995.

I turned 19, finally of age to actually be a missionary! 

I woke up and just laid in bed for about an hour. Replying it my texts and opening my "open when" letter from Sonny. 

It was relaxing, at first! and the letter was absolutely perfect. 

I had to work and my feet and back were killing me.

But the manager came up to me and told me they're cutting hours and so she sent me home.

Yes, I will gladly take my 2 hour drive 3 hours earlier than planned!

After work, I walked around the mall a little, to see if there was anything fancy I could get myself.

I decided on Salted Carmel Hot Chocolate and a cheesecake brownie from Starbucks.

It was delicious!

After I was done at the mall, I started my drive.

I had one of the worst blonde moments in my entire life.

I reminded myself when I got to work that I absolutely had to get gas before I started my drive, because I was most definitely not going to get home on less than a quarter tank.

But, when I got in my car to start my drive I totally spaced about it, and didn't look at my gas marker thingy until I had been driving for almost an hour.

By this time, I was close to running out. I had to get off the interstate immediately! 

So I started looking for the little gas station signs they have before every exit, and finally found one, just in time too.

So I get gas, then continue my drive. I'm finally back in Bradenton. I had to stop at a pharmacy really fast to get a few things, then I was almost { home }

I walk in the door and my mom was right there to greet me. I love her so much, she is most definitely my best friend. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the entire world.

We had to go to the store and pick up a few things for the little party we were having. 

Then we get back and my mom gives me my present from her and my dad.

It was a charm for my bracelet. A little kangaroo charm! I love it so much. And it shows even more that my parents support me and love me just the same despite my decision to go on a mission. That was the most special thing about it.

And the card said the most heartfelt and loving things ever.

Later that night a lot of my family came over to eat food and cake and celebrate with me. It was so nice to see everyone and talk and laugh the night away.

The only thing missing was my dad being there and Sonny. But it's okay, they made sure it was the most special one yet, from afar.

I love my family so very much and I know they love me too. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary with this birthday but it was one of the most special one's I've ever had.

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Dear Sister Knowles,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

You are assigned to labor in the AUSTRALIA SYDNEY SOUTH MISSION!

It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of { 18 months. }

You should report to the Provo MTC on Wednesday, June 18th 2014.

You will prepare to preach the gospel in the < English language >

Ummmmm, I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!

Someone needs to pinch me because it still isn't sinking in! Am I really spending the next year and a half in Australia? Is that really what's about to happen? I was almost positive I would go to Utah haha.

Then I have to write an acceptance letter? Uh, Yes President Monson, I would be honored to serve in stinkin' Australia! I am totally stoked! 

I know I need to do a whole lot more to prepare, but I will learn and prepare the best I can before I enter the MTC. Right now, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around all this haha.

I am beyond excited and just totally on cloud nine. I know that things are going to get harder as the time gets closer, but I think that I am pretty well prepared, when it comes to hard times.

I'm just way excited and so in love with my call.

I know that the church is true and I know that I am going there for a reason. There are people that need my help and I can't wait to help them. I know that this is what I need to be doing and I know that it is going to be the best time of my life. This is an experience I wouldn't trade for anything! 

Now to get started on getting all the things I need!

My list is about a mile long haha!!

130 days and counting <3

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January 26, 2014 - 6:49PM

Today was the dreaded day.

Today is the day that I say goodbye to my Grandma.

It isn't goodbye for forever, but I do have to go through the rest of my life without her.

She was such an amazing person and a beautiful role model. I can't believe she is actually gone. I will miss her always.

She was my last living grandparent so this one hit me especially hard.

I remember I would spend a week with my grandparents the week after Thanksgiving every single year, while my parents went to Chicago. I would always get homesick. I hated being away from my parents. 

But my grandma understood so she would give my a chocolate ice cream cone before bed and let me sew with her. My grandpa would take my to the beach or go on walks with me to DeSoto Park. 

Once I went to bed, I would get scared and so I would crawl to my grandma's side of the bed and she would scoot over and let me cuddle up with her. 

She was so beautiful and so happy and loving all the way up until she passed.

She was also the best chef! She always made those big italian meals! Lots of pasta and soup and meat. I remember that she would always make my grandpa's plate first. Never her child or grandchildren or herself. Always him first.

They were so amazing together. They were the picture of love and commitment.

They were crazy for each other until the very end and I know they are so happy to be together again.

No words could possibly put together my feelings. 

I am happy she is not suffering anymore and I am so glad she is with the rest of our family up in heaven now.

I am also very sad because I will miss her forever and I want to be selfish and have her here. But I can't be because she gave this world 95 amazing years and gave me the greatest childhood a girl could ask for.

I love you always grandma and I am so happy that you are home again <3

You get to be with Grandpa, your son, Satch, Nana, and you Heavenly Father, what a blessing!

The Plan of Salvation is so real and I am so very grateful for it! Especially at times like these. It is so amazing that God has a plan for each of us. We have a purpose and He knows it. And after we die, He has an even more amazing plan for us! I know she is even more beautiful now and that she is happy and just perfect <3

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