February Inspiration

So, I have been really trying (for the whole one month we've had so far in 2017...lol) to pick one quote a month to try and live by. I really love looking up and finding new quotes. Inspirational sayings are my absolute fav. I have decided to find a scripture too. I have been having a hard time sticking to my daily scripture reading/studying. I think that maybe if I focus on one specific scripture each month, I will be able to remember to read each day.

My reasoning behind picking the above quote is decluttering. Hamilton and I have been discussing becoming more minimalistic a ton lately. This will definitely be more difficult for me than him, but we are going to go into this together and push each other. Our home is so cluttered and we really need to eliminate some stuff. I am picking this quote to really push us into the right direction.
So far we have gone through our clothes and I have gotten rid of a few other things that I just really don't use. I tried to get rid of some books, but I can't. I collect books and they make me so happy. I absolutely love having full bookshelves, soo I decided that those are things I don't need to get rid of. If they bring me joy, there is no reason to get rid of them (channeling my inner Emily Gilmore.) Our next declutter battle is going to be our front porch. If you didn't know us and you were to just look onto our porch, you would think we were hoarders....that is not fun and I'm ready to make a change. I also love how much lighter and happier I am already feeling just from getting rid of a few things.


The scripture I chose has a deep meaning to me. I love it so much and somehow this is the one that always pops up on my Pinterest, or in a Sunday school lesson right when I need it most. I know that as long as I am following the promptings of the spirit and Heavenly Father, I won't fall.
- He will lift me up when I'm struggling.
- He will pull me out of the darkness when I turn to him.
- He will sustain me in all I do when I look to Him for help.
- He will surround me with His love when I am not feeling loved.
I need these reminders more often than I would like to admit, but it is amazing to me how much Heavenly Father knows me. He knows when I am needing an extra push and He is right there to push and pull me towards greatness. My current calling in the church has put some stress and worries on me, but I know that as long as I turn to him with that, He will help me so much!

I really love that I am doing this monthly because I live my life by quotes! I read so many quotes on the daily and they help me feel inspired in all aspects of my life. It's a super cheesy thing about me, but oh well! I don't care! I also think this will help me to grow as a person so much.
Anyways, if any of you are doing this too, let me know which quotes or scriptures you are using this month!


xoxo, Jacquelyn

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Inspire

I am one of those people who could sit on Pinterest for hours and hours looking up inspirational quotes. They speak to me on a deep level. They have helped me to grow and learn new things about myself. They invoke some major thinking and soul searching sometimes, and it's always good to do that sometimes. 

So, anyways, here are just a few of my favorites. These are the ones that have really been speaking to me on a whole new level and I have loved getting to know myself better through them.

 // I'm not here looking for sympathy or to whine about all the bad things. I will say that I've been dealt a decently bad hand, at times. I also know that after every bad thing, an even more amazing thing has happened. I strongly believe that things happen for a reason. The bad things lead to the good things. I love the life I'm living and I know that I have been brought to this point, doing the things I'm doing for a specific reason.

 // Grow where you are. It doesn't matter what is going on or where you are living, grow. As an individual, I know that I need to continue to grow. In my relationships, I know that we must continue to grow. Honestly, I need this reminder on a daily basis. I get into routines and I stop growing. Then I start thinking and I know that I need to change things up a little. Go on a hike, go camping, do anything that is NEW! When I think about how far I've come; I know that I need to keep going and never stop. Don't just grow, thrive!

 // This is the biggest thing to me. I want to inspire people and I want people to know that it's okay to NOT be okay. I have had so many days where I wasn't okay, but I'm still here. I still push through and try every single day. I want to be someone my nieces and nephews can look up to. I want to be someone that people can look up to.

 // This one is really hard for me. I was never the adventurous one. I have always played things safe, and that got real boring real fast. But then, I met Hamilton! The very first time we hung out we climbed a billboard. Yeah, I know! Crazy! He has helped shape me into the person I am. We went camping and hiking for the first time about a year ago, and I got the bug! He has helped me step out of my comfort zone so much! I couldn't be more grateful. I have grown to love nature on a whole new level.

 // This one kind of goes with my previous point, but my absolute FAVORITE thing is to be silent in nature. Whether I am sitting at the beach, hiking through the forest, swimming in the ocean, or sitting on my roof, I always feel so at peace. Being outside, in the quiet, is the only thing that can make a bad day a good one sometimes. I have found it extra calming lately. I've been struggling but going for walks at the local parks or at the boardwalk, have been helping me so much.

 // This one talks deeply to my soul. Let It Be by the Beatles was a song I grew up on. 
     "And though the night is cloudy, There is still a light that shines on me, Shine until tomorrow, let it       be." 
I have loved this song and known all the words since I was probably 8. It gives me a sense of peace and it can calm me down as soon as I hear the beginning. 

 // I aim to admire the stars, trees, clouds, and all things in the sky. I love to be distracted by the amazing world around me. Nature is such a beautiful thing and something that is so under appreciated by so many, including me. This means more to me than that, though. It also means looking up to Heavenly Father. I know He is always looking down on me and trying to lead me on the path I need to be on. I have fallen off many times, but He is always there to pick me up and push me along. I know that when I am doing my part, He will meet me more than halfway.

This is kind of a different post for me, but I hope you liked the switch up!

xoxo, Jacquelyn

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decisions, decisions

so, this past year and a half has been the craziest. ever.
i am so grateful for the gospel and that i have a loving Heavenly Father.

for all my readers, and people who know me personally, you know that i was supposed to go on a mission last year. i got my call in february and then i made the decision that i shouldnt go.

it took a lot of praying and many, many trips to the temple to figure that out. and i was not happy about it. i was ready to go. i spent months preparing and learning so much. i knew i needed to listen to my promptings and do what i felt the lord was telling me to.

a week or so later i met hamilton, who i'm now married to. and a little over a month later, on the day i was supposed to fly to australia, my father passed away.

if i would have gone on my mission, i would have been so far away and since its two days of travel, i would've missed my dads funeral. i was so close with him and this was/is probably one of the most difficult things i've had to/am still dealing with.

i know that i was supposed to stay home and not go on my mission so i could be here with my family during this difficult time. it was important for me to spend those months preparing and learning so much about the gospel as well as myself.

 just doin his favorite thing

so much love. our last picture together before he passed two months later.
rest easy daddy. june 30, 2014.

i am still realizing why it was important for me to stay home. 

so many things have happened other than my dad passing. 

my mom, nephews, hamilton, and i all went to michigan in december.
hamilton proposed to me in january. 
i was going to college.
working.
doing my best to do all the things i needed to.
i became financially independent.
planned my wedding.

it doesnt seem like a lot, but it was probably the most hectic, awful, yet amazing year.
in the midst of all these things may 22nd hit.
it's an emotional day for my family to begin with. my oldest brother, Satch, passed away in 2003. he was in a fatal car accident. and may 22nd is his birthday. so it's always a bit of a gloomy day.

i was at hamilton's house. sitting on the couch with his mom, him, and the little girl his mom watches. i get a call from my mom saying that my brother was in the hospital and she doesnt know whats wrong, but shes on her way now and to say a prayer. 
 my stomach dropped. i had the biggest pit in my stomach and i knew something bad happened.
i get a call probably a half hour later from my mom. she just said that my brother Sam had passed. i had no idea what to even say. it was such a shock to me. all i said to her was "okay, im on my way home."

i got up and went into hamiltons room. i had a lot of clothes at his house so i just started packing. mindlessly. 
hamilton comes in and asks me what happened. aware of the call i had with my mom saying he was in the hospital, so i just shook my head. 
it was friday which means i was supposed to be working and so was he. 
he called both of our works and we went on our way to bradenton. 

my brother was such a gentle soul. he was so loving and kind and had a heart of gold. 
after our dad passed, he told hamilton that he felt like he needed to be a father-figure. and he was, all my brothers are. 

 like father like son haha

 christmas morning is obviously really rough

i love my family so much and i feel like it keeps getting smaller. it is so sad and seems so unfair.

i know that there is a bigger plan. and who knows why things happen. all i know is that i am so grateful that i listened to those promptings over a year ago. if i hadnt, i wouldve been in australia during all these things and i know i wouldve had such a hard time. 

there have been some awful things that happened, but i know that im stronger and my heart is sad, but its so full of wonderful memories, and i feel like i have more love and understanding in my heart and mind than ever before. 

and less than a month later i married hamilton aaron birkeland. it was the most beautiful and wonderful day of my life. my heart was heavy because the most important people in my life, the ones who taught me the most, my dad and brother werent able to be there to celebrate this joyous day with me and the rest of my family. 

 i had to honor those who couldnt be there

my life has been so full and amazing so far. i know that bad things have happened, and they dont seem fair sometimes. but i try to stay positive because i know ill be with my family again one day. it wont be soon and the journey there will not be easy, but itll be worth it. 


xoxo

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oh how He loves us

i feel so beyond grateful and blessed to be a member of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. the road has certainly been a rough one, but i know that i have always been led in the right direction. being a member of this church can be difficult at times, not because i can't keep the commandments, but because it means holding myself to a much higher standard. and when i fall short, i get frustrated with myself. it is so amazing to me to have a Heavenly Father who loves us so dearly. i can't even begin to understand the love He has for me and all my brothers and sisters. i have felt that love when i'm in lessons with the elders or sisters and it is such an undeniable and amazing thing. it just gives me a small glimpse of the way He loves us. 

i am constantly reminded of His love by everything around me. just by being able to wake up each and every morning, to have the strength to get through the day, to have a job and go to school. there are so many things that i am blessed to have and it's so important for me to remember that.

i have been having a really hard time lately, not with the gospel or the church or anything like that. but with the small things. daily prayer and scripture study. i am working on it, but it's just been so hard lately and i'm not sure why. i know that those are the most simple things, but they truly set the tone for our lives and the way we live them. i know that when i start my day or end my day by reading the scriptures, i just feel better. i'm able to feel the spirit so much better and so much stronger. it is so wonderful and such a blessing to have that constant companionship and it is something that i need to strive for each and every day. 

having the temple so close is a huge deal, there are so many people who don't have a temple so close to them and i need to not take it for granted as much. i need to take advantage of it much more. i love the temple so much and being able to go and being worthy is one of the best feelings ever and i don't ever want to lose that. it's the one place that i can go to and forget everything outside of those walls. it's the place where i can feel my dad and satch with me and know that they are always watching over me. 

i know that repentance is real and that we can't put it off. Heavenly Father is waiting for us to come to Him and repent. He loves us so much and wants us to come back to Him. He will always love us no matter what and He sent Jesus down to be our Savior and we can't take that for granted. he payed the price for all of us and it is such an amazing and beautiful thing to know that no matter what mistakes we have made, we can always be forgiven. 

i fall short each and every day, but i know that no matter what, Heavenly Father is always there with me, waiting, longing for me to come to Him in prayer. i am so grateful for such a loving, kind Heavenly Father and an amazing, perfect older brother, Jesus Christ, who was willing to bear all of our burdens and sins on his shoulders. i love this gospel and know without a doubt that it is true and i couldn't be more grateful for those who have helped me along the way.

xoxo

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lately

i've been thinking a lot lately..uh oh..and i am just so thankful for the gospel. my life has hit quite a few big bumps in the last year. if i didn't have the gospel i don't know what would have happened or how i would have reacted.
i know that having the knowledge i do and especially being able to go to the temple helps me so much. there are a few times where i know i would have strayed from the straight and narrow, and i would've strayed far. if i wasn't temple worthy, i can guarantee that i would have done those things, but knowing that i could go to the Lord's house at anytime is what saved me from doing those things. it was a personal struggle on top of all the other things that were going on. i am just so grateful for my friends both the ones who are members and the ones who aren't. i can honestly say that i don't know where i would be without them.
lately i feel like i'm coming undone. i don't know why or what triggered it. i've been so happy and grateful. but recently i just am not feeling that way. i'm more emotionally unstable and my eating problems are coming back, not too much, but they're there. i haven't had those problems in almost a year. i don't know what is triggering these feelings and thoughts, but i just know that i have to push through. i make sure to tell someone, so obviously i decided to tell hamilton and he doesn't really know what to do, but he knows, so he can talk to me about it and see how i'm really doing.
the gospel can help us overcome anything and everything. i know that these trials and hard times are tests. it is Heavenly Father's way of testing me and telling me that i need to do some growing. i can't get lazy with scripture study and daily prayer. which i most definitely have lately. that's the way it works. as soon as i stop doing what i need to be doing, i hit a trial, hard. not always, sometimes i hit trials when i'm doing everything i need to and when i'm trying my best. but Heavenly Father knows what He's doing. His plan is always the best. and trials just happen to be part of that plan.
sometimes i just feel like i don't know what to do or where to start to try and feel better. i don't want to have to rely on someone else to make me feel better, and i don't think i've ever really done that. i try to be independent, too independent. i shut down from everyone around me and don't talk to anyone and it's bad for me but also for my relationships. i get scared i don't want my problems to be belittled or get told that they're stupid. i'm scared of getting hurt. but i know it's an irrational fear, most of the time. i need to let go of that and talk to people. i hurt myself by bottling everything up.

but anyways, i am so happy that this church is true, i know that it is! and it is not a place for perfect people, it is for imperfect people trying to better themselves. no one is perfect but we are trying and that's what is important. i am so happy to have a loving Heavenly Father who loves me more than i could ever comprehend no matter what mistakes i may make. and i am so grateful and happy to have Jesus Christ as my savior. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be able to repent and be forgiven. i wouldn't be able to live with Heavenly Father again after this life.
i am so happy and grateful for the church leaders that help me and are so willing to do anything to help me with anything that may be going on.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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