This past Sunday Hamilton and I were asked to give talks in church. Definitely not our favorite thing at all haha. We may seem put together and outgoing, but we both get extremely nervous to talk in front of people. Small groups are more our thing.
Anyways, we were given the topic of Christlike communication and after so much prayer and research I have found out a lot about myself and my relationships with others. Hamilton's talk was so amazing and he said some things that really resonated with a lot of people. Some of this post will come from his talk too because I think it was really great and he explained the things we do when it comes to our marriage more than I did.
As I'm sure most of you know, I am Mormon. So, this post may have a few quotes from our church leaders or from the Book of Mormon.
The LDS church defines Christlike communication like this: "True disciples of Jesus Christ seek to follow His example in the ways they communicate. Their communications, both verbal and nonverbal, are to be kind, compassionate, and helpful, reflecting a love for Heavenly Father's children and an understanding that all people are brother's and sister's."
I absolutely love this definition. I think it is so important that we remember our communication is so much more that what we say. It includes our body language, facial expressions, and what we say and do on social media. I also think it is so important to remember that EVERYONE is our brother and sister, not just our blood or law relatives. We all have our own beliefs, whether they are religions, faith, spiritual, or nonexistent, we all believe something! But for those of us who call ourselves Christians, we need to act like it by treating everyone the way we would like to be treated and treating them like our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Now let's talk about the marriage side of communication for a quick minute.
Mark Ogletree wrote, "Marriage experts Sandra Blakeslee and Judith S. Wallerstein have written, "A marriage that does not provide nurturance and restorative comfort can die of emotional malnutrition." Communication that validates is edifying, healing, nurturing, and complimentary. In this level of communication, we express praise and compliments to those we care about. Almost every relationship will thrive if there is a healthy dose of validation."
I LOVE this so much. I think that it is something that is so overlooked in marriages. Validation may seem silly like I don't really need Hamilton to tell me what I'm doing is good or not or to complement everything I'm doing, but it helps me feel so much more confident when he does. It is something that I personally really need from him. He doesn't really need that from me as much, which leads me to my next point.
Talk with your significant other! Find out what they need. Different people need different things. There are so many different types of communication and some people connect better and get the feels with different types. For me, it's validation and kindness. For Hamilton, it's more so just being an active listener and someone who will listen and interact with all his stories. And he needs a little bit of validation sprinkled in there too, every once in awhile, lol. Everyone needs something different, so be patient and learn with each other.
Okay, one more quote from Mark Ogletree, "I have learned over the years that healthy communication affects both the heart and the mind. If we can communicate better - meaning more clearly and concisely - then we can forge deeper emotional connections, resolve conflicts, and strengthens the bonds in our marital relationships."
He specifically says that this will help marital bonds, but I know these things can strengthen any relationship. I know that when I do my best to speak out of love and present myself in a way that is christlike, I am much happier and feel much more fulfilled at the end of the day. I also know that my mind is much more positive and I am just overall in a more positive and loving mood. This is definitely something that rings very true in my life!
Soo, this post is kind of getting long. I'll either do a part 2 (if you want) with Ham's thoughts and stuff, or I won't haha. I have really put a lot of work into this post. I wasn't sure what to say or where to start, but I know that these things have really helped me in every. single. relationship. I have in my life. Of course, these help the most with my relationship with my hubby, but I am with him the most and talk to him the most, so that makes sense!
I hope you enjoyed this and foreals...let me know if you wanna hear Ham's side!
xoxo, Jacquelyn
