unconditional love


2.11.2014

so I have to give a talk this Sunday, and I really have no idea what to talk about. My topic is faith, repentance, and baptism. could it be any more broad? it gives me a lot of wiggle room, so that's good. I just don't really know what direction I want to go with it! oh well, I'll figure it out.
I also received all my visa paperwork..it's so much and it's kinda confusing. I really need to get it done asap. So I guess I should really get on that. I'll get my photos taken and fingerprints taken tomorrow, after work.

I went with the missionaries today and they told me that I need to be teaching the lessons now. uhhh, okay? I guess I do need to start preparing more. it was good though. I felt confident with what we were teaching and talking about. it showed me that I know more than I think I do, and that definitely helps. especially when I'm well on my way to being a missionary haha.

my family, especially my parents, are so supportive of me going on my mission. it really surprised me! Heavenly Father really does answer our prayers. He doesn't always do it right away, or in the way we expect it, but He does. He will never fail us. He knows up and loves us more than anyone else ever could. it's difficult to remember sometimes, but it is true. we think we can  do it all on our own, but we cant. our pride gets in the way of Him helping and blessing us. it hurts Him to know that we feel like we don't need Him. but he always forgives us as soon as we turn back to him. that is the most amazing part. He doesn't hold grudges, He doesn't love us less, He continues to love us and want us despite the sins we commit and mistakes we may make.
God is perfect. His church is perfect. Temples are perfect. the gospel and teachings are perfect. the people are not. we are far from perfect. that is why we need the atonement so much. I need the atonement each and every day of my life. it is hard to imagine life without it. I think about how far away I have strayed sometimes, and think about if I didn't have the atonement after those times. boy, would I be a mess. everyone would be. we wouldn't have this church, there's a lot of things we wouldn't have. but God loves us, each and every one of us. we are all His children. and a perfect Father would never abandon his children.
God would never abandon us. that is why He gives us all of these beautiful things. that is why He blesses us, even when we don't think we deserve it, even when we don't deserve it.
His love is perfect and something we will never be able to comprehend. this life is here to challenge us. we chose to come to earth. we made the decision to follow God and Jesus Christ's examples. it is our job to turn to Heavenly Father and ask for His help, and sacrifice, and do all that we can do to show Him we love Him and want to follow Him. if we can just do our part, He will meet us more than halfway there.
it is up to us. simple as that. He will always love us. but we must also always love Him.
He will always leave the 99 sheep to go find just one. He wants all of us, not just a few, not most, but all.






today really strengthened my testimony on faith and trusting the Lord.
I think I may have just found what I'm going to talk about on Sunday haha.

well, it's way past my bedtime..
peace.

i can do what i want


2.09.2014

It's my birthday.
February 8, 1995.
I turned 19, finally of age to actually be a missionary! 
I woke up and just laid in bed for about an hour. Replying it my texts and opening my "open when" letter from Sonny. 
It was relaxing, at first! and the letter was absolutely perfect. 


I had to work and my feet and back were killing me.
But the manager came up to me and told me they're cutting hours and so she sent me home.
Yes, I will gladly take my 2 hour drive 3 hours earlier than planned!

After work, I walked around the mall a little, to see if there was anything fancy I could get myself.
I decided on Salted Carmel Hot Chocolate and a cheesecake brownie from Starbucks.
It was delicious!


After I was done at the mall, I started my drive.
I had one of the worst blonde moments in my entire life.
I reminded myself when I got to work that I absolutely had to get gas before I started my drive, because I was most definitely not going to get home on less than a quarter tank.
But, when I got in my car to start my drive I totally spaced about it, and didn't look at my gas marker thingy until I had been driving for almost an hour.
By this time, I was close to running out. I had to get off the interstate immediately! 
So I started looking for the little gas station signs they have before every exit, and finally found one, just in time too.

So I get gas, then continue my drive. I'm finally back in Bradenton. I had to stop at a pharmacy really fast to get a few things, then I was almost { home }

I walk in the door and my mom was right there to greet me. I love her so much, she is most definitely my best friend. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the entire world.
We had to go to the store and pick up a few things for the little party we were having. 

Then we get back and my mom gives me my present from her and my dad.
It was a charm for my bracelet. A little kangaroo charm! I love it so much. And it shows even more that my parents support me and love me just the same despite my decision to go on a mission. That was the most special thing about it.
And the card said the most heartfelt and loving things ever.

Later that night a lot of my family came over to eat food and cake and celebrate with me. It was so nice to see everyone and talk and laugh the night away.

The only thing missing was my dad being there and Sonny. But it's okay, they made sure it was the most special one yet, from afar.
I love my family so very much and I know they love me too. There wasn't anything out of the ordinary with this birthday but it was one of the most special one's I've ever had.












Dear Sister Knowles,


2.08.2014


You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
You are assigned to labor in the AUSTRALIA SYDNEY SOUTH MISSION!
It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of { 18 months. }
You should report to the Provo MTC on Wednesday, June 18th 2014.
You will prepare to preach the gospel in the < English language >



Ummmmm, I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!
Someone needs to pinch me because it still isn't sinking in! Am I really spending the next year and a half in Australia? Is that really what's about to happen? I was almost positive I would go to Utah haha.
Then I have to write an acceptance letter? Uh, Yes President Monson, I would be honored to serve in stinkin' Australia! I am totally stoked! 
I know I need to do a whole lot more to prepare, but I will learn and prepare the best I can before I enter the MTC. Right now, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around all this haha.

I am beyond excited and just totally on cloud nine. I know that things are going to get harder as the time gets closer, but I think that I am pretty well prepared, when it comes to hard times.

I'm just way excited and so in love with my call.
I know that the church is true and I know that I am going there for a reason. There are people that need my help and I can't wait to help them. I know that this is what I need to be doing and I know that it is going to be the best time of my life. This is an experience I wouldn't trade for anything! 

Now to get started on getting all the things I need!
My list is about a mile long haha!!

130 days and counting <3





January 26, 2014 - 6:49PM


1.26.2014

Today was the dreaded day.
Today is the day that I say goodbye to my Grandma.
It isn't goodbye for forever, but I do have to go through the rest of my life without her.
She was such an amazing person and a beautiful role model. I can't believe she is actually gone. I will miss her always.
She was my last living grandparent so this one hit me especially hard.

I remember I would spend a week with my grandparents the week after Thanksgiving every single year, while my parents went to Chicago. I would always get homesick. I hated being away from my parents. 
But my grandma understood so she would give my a chocolate ice cream cone before bed and let me sew with her. My grandpa would take my to the beach or go on walks with me to DeSoto Park. 
Once I went to bed, I would get scared and so I would crawl to my grandma's side of the bed and she would scoot over and let me cuddle up with her. 
She was so beautiful and so happy and loving all the way up until she passed.

She was also the best chef! She always made those big italian meals! Lots of pasta and soup and meat. I remember that she would always make my grandpa's plate first. Never her child or grandchildren or herself. Always him first.
They were so amazing together. They were the picture of love and commitment.
They were crazy for each other until the very end and I know they are so happy to be together again.

No words could possibly put together my feelings. 
I am happy she is not suffering anymore and I am so glad she is with the rest of our family up in heaven now.
I am also very sad because I will miss her forever and I want to be selfish and have her here. But I can't be because she gave this world 95 amazing years and gave me the greatest childhood a girl could ask for.
I love you always grandma and I am so happy that you are home again <3
You get to be with Grandpa, your son, Satch, Nana, and you Heavenly Father, what a blessing!

The Plan of Salvation is so real and I am so very grateful for it! Especially at times like these. It is so amazing that God has a plan for each of us. We have a purpose and He knows it. And after we die, He has an even more amazing plan for us! I know she is even more beautiful now and that she is happy and just perfect <3

{ so long 2 0 1 3 }


12.31.2013


This year has been insane!
SO much has happened!

I can't even really find the distinction between 2012 and 2013! They kind of just run together now! Thinking back, I don't even really remember what I did for New Year's last year! Oh well, all that matters is that it happened and I made it through another year, haha!

The year in review (not in any specific order): 
-Graduated! Class of 2013.
-Went to Disney World, my favorite place, twice.
-Started college.
-Sonny left.
-Moved out.
-Went to Michigan and saw my first real snow fall, and fell in love.
-Got baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
-Made it through quite a lot of family problems.
-Made many life changes that have been the best ever.
-Went to my first bonfire.
-Went to Haiti.
-Jumped off of a bridge.
-Made a lot of new friends, and lost many more.
-Made up with people that I never thought I would.
-Helped my parents/family make peace with my baptism decision.
-And I'm going on a mission!

Overall, it was amazing! I can't really comprehend a few of the things that have happened! But they did; and, I know they happened for a reason! I love my life and I love everything that is going on in my life! It is truly a beautiful life! 
It is all what you make it, and I have made mine worth while! I love it and couldn't be happier!

Here's to another great year <3

Keeping Christ in Christmas


12.26.2013

This Christmas truly was the most amazing Christmas ever.
So much happened and it was just so lovely and so nice.

Our family decided to go to Michigan this year because my brother and his family just moved up here.
Because of that, we decided not to do a whole lot with presents! And I was so nice to just enjoy the company of our family and remember Christ.

It was still hectic, like any other holiday, but it was enjoyable! 
I love Christmas! It is my favorite holiday! 

- Everyone is { usually } in a good mood. 
- Family is together and getting along!
- People are so willing to give.
- People seem to truly remember the reason for the season!

Without Christmas there wouldn't be Easter, and those are the most important of the whole year! Those two days are so amazing and everyone needs to know why!

God sent his one and only son for US! How amazing is that?
We are worth it! We are so loved that He was willing to die for us! 
The reason for the season is to celebrate the birth of a beautiful baby boy! His name is Jesus Christ and He is the savior of the world! He died for us but that is not what this day is about! It is about celebrating his birth! It is so amazingly happy! How could that NOT make you smile? 
It is just so amazing and so crazy! It is beyond comprehension!

Luke 1: 31 - And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus.
32 - He shall be great, and shall be called the Song of the Highest and the Lord God shall give until him the throne of his father David:
33 - And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.

How amazing that this baby came from the Holy Ghost, and that He truly did come to save each and every one of us! It just blows my mind whenever I think about it!

Helaman 5: 9 - "...yea, remember that there is no other way nor means whereby man can be saved, only through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, who shall come; yea, remember that he cometh to redeem the world."

I don't even think that needs any elaboration! It just is so amazing!


Til next time <3 

long time no see .


11.17.2013

Wow...it's been awhile!

I feel like so much has happened this past month!
A lot of big changes and a lot of things that I've had to overcome!
Let's start from the beginning..

1. Yes, I've made the decision to go on a mission.

2. No, it is not JUST because my boyfriend is on his.
-that actually has nothing to do with it.

3. I finally got a job!

4. My mom and I made a compromise about me going on a mission!
-I'll finish a whole year of school! I only have to push it back by two months!

5. I've started and almost completed my papers.
-all in one night, might I add.

6. I had to work my first overnight shift.
-It wasn't too bad, but I do not recommend it.

7. I hit my 3 month mark 

I guess it doesn't seem like TOO much looking at it now, but it was a lot! Especially the part with my mom..I was super upset about it, but I've come to love that compromise even more!

This past week was CRAZY, to say the least! 
I had to work the overnight shift 3 times, and I had to work the day shift; so, my sleep schedule is totally out of whack! 
Oh well!

birkeland life © . Quinn Creatives .