February Inspiration

So, I have been really trying (for the whole one month we've had so far in 2017...lol) to pick one quote a month to try and live by. I really love looking up and finding new quotes. Inspirational sayings are my absolute fav. I have decided to find a scripture too. I have been having a hard time sticking to my daily scripture reading/studying. I think that maybe if I focus on one specific scripture each month, I will be able to remember to read each day.

My reasoning behind picking the above quote is decluttering. Hamilton and I have been discussing becoming more minimalistic a ton lately. This will definitely be more difficult for me than him, but we are going to go into this together and push each other. Our home is so cluttered and we really need to eliminate some stuff. I am picking this quote to really push us into the right direction.
So far we have gone through our clothes and I have gotten rid of a few other things that I just really don't use. I tried to get rid of some books, but I can't. I collect books and they make me so happy. I absolutely love having full bookshelves, soo I decided that those are things I don't need to get rid of. If they bring me joy, there is no reason to get rid of them (channeling my inner Emily Gilmore.) Our next declutter battle is going to be our front porch. If you didn't know us and you were to just look onto our porch, you would think we were hoarders....that is not fun and I'm ready to make a change. I also love how much lighter and happier I am already feeling just from getting rid of a few things.


The scripture I chose has a deep meaning to me. I love it so much and somehow this is the one that always pops up on my Pinterest, or in a Sunday school lesson right when I need it most. I know that as long as I am following the promptings of the spirit and Heavenly Father, I won't fall.
- He will lift me up when I'm struggling.
- He will pull me out of the darkness when I turn to him.
- He will sustain me in all I do when I look to Him for help.
- He will surround me with His love when I am not feeling loved.
I need these reminders more often than I would like to admit, but it is amazing to me how much Heavenly Father knows me. He knows when I am needing an extra push and He is right there to push and pull me towards greatness. My current calling in the church has put some stress and worries on me, but I know that as long as I turn to him with that, He will help me so much!

I really love that I am doing this monthly because I live my life by quotes! I read so many quotes on the daily and they help me feel inspired in all aspects of my life. It's a super cheesy thing about me, but oh well! I don't care! I also think this will help me to grow as a person so much.
Anyways, if any of you are doing this too, let me know which quotes or scriptures you are using this month!


xoxo, Jacquelyn

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Inspire

I am one of those people who could sit on Pinterest for hours and hours looking up inspirational quotes. They speak to me on a deep level. They have helped me to grow and learn new things about myself. They invoke some major thinking and soul searching sometimes, and it's always good to do that sometimes. 

So, anyways, here are just a few of my favorites. These are the ones that have really been speaking to me on a whole new level and I have loved getting to know myself better through them.

 // I'm not here looking for sympathy or to whine about all the bad things. I will say that I've been dealt a decently bad hand, at times. I also know that after every bad thing, an even more amazing thing has happened. I strongly believe that things happen for a reason. The bad things lead to the good things. I love the life I'm living and I know that I have been brought to this point, doing the things I'm doing for a specific reason.

 // Grow where you are. It doesn't matter what is going on or where you are living, grow. As an individual, I know that I need to continue to grow. In my relationships, I know that we must continue to grow. Honestly, I need this reminder on a daily basis. I get into routines and I stop growing. Then I start thinking and I know that I need to change things up a little. Go on a hike, go camping, do anything that is NEW! When I think about how far I've come; I know that I need to keep going and never stop. Don't just grow, thrive!

 // This is the biggest thing to me. I want to inspire people and I want people to know that it's okay to NOT be okay. I have had so many days where I wasn't okay, but I'm still here. I still push through and try every single day. I want to be someone my nieces and nephews can look up to. I want to be someone that people can look up to.

 // This one is really hard for me. I was never the adventurous one. I have always played things safe, and that got real boring real fast. But then, I met Hamilton! The very first time we hung out we climbed a billboard. Yeah, I know! Crazy! He has helped shape me into the person I am. We went camping and hiking for the first time about a year ago, and I got the bug! He has helped me step out of my comfort zone so much! I couldn't be more grateful. I have grown to love nature on a whole new level.

 // This one kind of goes with my previous point, but my absolute FAVORITE thing is to be silent in nature. Whether I am sitting at the beach, hiking through the forest, swimming in the ocean, or sitting on my roof, I always feel so at peace. Being outside, in the quiet, is the only thing that can make a bad day a good one sometimes. I have found it extra calming lately. I've been struggling but going for walks at the local parks or at the boardwalk, have been helping me so much.

 // This one talks deeply to my soul. Let It Be by the Beatles was a song I grew up on. 
     "And though the night is cloudy, There is still a light that shines on me, Shine until tomorrow, let it       be." 
I have loved this song and known all the words since I was probably 8. It gives me a sense of peace and it can calm me down as soon as I hear the beginning. 

 // I aim to admire the stars, trees, clouds, and all things in the sky. I love to be distracted by the amazing world around me. Nature is such a beautiful thing and something that is so under appreciated by so many, including me. This means more to me than that, though. It also means looking up to Heavenly Father. I know He is always looking down on me and trying to lead me on the path I need to be on. I have fallen off many times, but He is always there to pick me up and push me along. I know that when I am doing my part, He will meet me more than halfway.

This is kind of a different post for me, but I hope you liked the switch up!

xoxo, Jacquelyn

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decisions, decisions

so, this past year and a half has been the craziest. ever.
i am so grateful for the gospel and that i have a loving Heavenly Father.

for all my readers, and people who know me personally, you know that i was supposed to go on a mission last year. i got my call in february and then i made the decision that i shouldnt go.

it took a lot of praying and many, many trips to the temple to figure that out. and i was not happy about it. i was ready to go. i spent months preparing and learning so much. i knew i needed to listen to my promptings and do what i felt the lord was telling me to.

a week or so later i met hamilton, who i'm now married to. and a little over a month later, on the day i was supposed to fly to australia, my father passed away.

if i would have gone on my mission, i would have been so far away and since its two days of travel, i would've missed my dads funeral. i was so close with him and this was/is probably one of the most difficult things i've had to/am still dealing with.

i know that i was supposed to stay home and not go on my mission so i could be here with my family during this difficult time. it was important for me to spend those months preparing and learning so much about the gospel as well as myself.

 just doin his favorite thing

so much love. our last picture together before he passed two months later.
rest easy daddy. june 30, 2014.

i am still realizing why it was important for me to stay home. 

so many things have happened other than my dad passing. 

my mom, nephews, hamilton, and i all went to michigan in december.
hamilton proposed to me in january. 
i was going to college.
working.
doing my best to do all the things i needed to.
i became financially independent.
planned my wedding.

it doesnt seem like a lot, but it was probably the most hectic, awful, yet amazing year.
in the midst of all these things may 22nd hit.
it's an emotional day for my family to begin with. my oldest brother, Satch, passed away in 2003. he was in a fatal car accident. and may 22nd is his birthday. so it's always a bit of a gloomy day.

i was at hamilton's house. sitting on the couch with his mom, him, and the little girl his mom watches. i get a call from my mom saying that my brother was in the hospital and she doesnt know whats wrong, but shes on her way now and to say a prayer. 
 my stomach dropped. i had the biggest pit in my stomach and i knew something bad happened.
i get a call probably a half hour later from my mom. she just said that my brother Sam had passed. i had no idea what to even say. it was such a shock to me. all i said to her was "okay, im on my way home."

i got up and went into hamiltons room. i had a lot of clothes at his house so i just started packing. mindlessly. 
hamilton comes in and asks me what happened. aware of the call i had with my mom saying he was in the hospital, so i just shook my head. 
it was friday which means i was supposed to be working and so was he. 
he called both of our works and we went on our way to bradenton. 

my brother was such a gentle soul. he was so loving and kind and had a heart of gold. 
after our dad passed, he told hamilton that he felt like he needed to be a father-figure. and he was, all my brothers are. 

 like father like son haha

 christmas morning is obviously really rough

i love my family so much and i feel like it keeps getting smaller. it is so sad and seems so unfair.

i know that there is a bigger plan. and who knows why things happen. all i know is that i am so grateful that i listened to those promptings over a year ago. if i hadnt, i wouldve been in australia during all these things and i know i wouldve had such a hard time. 

there have been some awful things that happened, but i know that im stronger and my heart is sad, but its so full of wonderful memories, and i feel like i have more love and understanding in my heart and mind than ever before. 

and less than a month later i married hamilton aaron birkeland. it was the most beautiful and wonderful day of my life. my heart was heavy because the most important people in my life, the ones who taught me the most, my dad and brother werent able to be there to celebrate this joyous day with me and the rest of my family. 

 i had to honor those who couldnt be there

my life has been so full and amazing so far. i know that bad things have happened, and they dont seem fair sometimes. but i try to stay positive because i know ill be with my family again one day. it wont be soon and the journey there will not be easy, but itll be worth it. 


xoxo

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oh how He loves us

i feel so beyond grateful and blessed to be a member of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. the road has certainly been a rough one, but i know that i have always been led in the right direction. being a member of this church can be difficult at times, not because i can't keep the commandments, but because it means holding myself to a much higher standard. and when i fall short, i get frustrated with myself. it is so amazing to me to have a Heavenly Father who loves us so dearly. i can't even begin to understand the love He has for me and all my brothers and sisters. i have felt that love when i'm in lessons with the elders or sisters and it is such an undeniable and amazing thing. it just gives me a small glimpse of the way He loves us. 

i am constantly reminded of His love by everything around me. just by being able to wake up each and every morning, to have the strength to get through the day, to have a job and go to school. there are so many things that i am blessed to have and it's so important for me to remember that.

i have been having a really hard time lately, not with the gospel or the church or anything like that. but with the small things. daily prayer and scripture study. i am working on it, but it's just been so hard lately and i'm not sure why. i know that those are the most simple things, but they truly set the tone for our lives and the way we live them. i know that when i start my day or end my day by reading the scriptures, i just feel better. i'm able to feel the spirit so much better and so much stronger. it is so wonderful and such a blessing to have that constant companionship and it is something that i need to strive for each and every day. 

having the temple so close is a huge deal, there are so many people who don't have a temple so close to them and i need to not take it for granted as much. i need to take advantage of it much more. i love the temple so much and being able to go and being worthy is one of the best feelings ever and i don't ever want to lose that. it's the one place that i can go to and forget everything outside of those walls. it's the place where i can feel my dad and satch with me and know that they are always watching over me. 

i know that repentance is real and that we can't put it off. Heavenly Father is waiting for us to come to Him and repent. He loves us so much and wants us to come back to Him. He will always love us no matter what and He sent Jesus down to be our Savior and we can't take that for granted. he payed the price for all of us and it is such an amazing and beautiful thing to know that no matter what mistakes we have made, we can always be forgiven. 

i fall short each and every day, but i know that no matter what, Heavenly Father is always there with me, waiting, longing for me to come to Him in prayer. i am so grateful for such a loving, kind Heavenly Father and an amazing, perfect older brother, Jesus Christ, who was willing to bear all of our burdens and sins on his shoulders. i love this gospel and know without a doubt that it is true and i couldn't be more grateful for those who have helped me along the way.

xoxo

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lately

i've been thinking a lot lately..uh oh..and i am just so thankful for the gospel. my life has hit quite a few big bumps in the last year. if i didn't have the gospel i don't know what would have happened or how i would have reacted.
i know that having the knowledge i do and especially being able to go to the temple helps me so much. there are a few times where i know i would have strayed from the straight and narrow, and i would've strayed far. if i wasn't temple worthy, i can guarantee that i would have done those things, but knowing that i could go to the Lord's house at anytime is what saved me from doing those things. it was a personal struggle on top of all the other things that were going on. i am just so grateful for my friends both the ones who are members and the ones who aren't. i can honestly say that i don't know where i would be without them.
lately i feel like i'm coming undone. i don't know why or what triggered it. i've been so happy and grateful. but recently i just am not feeling that way. i'm more emotionally unstable and my eating problems are coming back, not too much, but they're there. i haven't had those problems in almost a year. i don't know what is triggering these feelings and thoughts, but i just know that i have to push through. i make sure to tell someone, so obviously i decided to tell hamilton and he doesn't really know what to do, but he knows, so he can talk to me about it and see how i'm really doing.
the gospel can help us overcome anything and everything. i know that these trials and hard times are tests. it is Heavenly Father's way of testing me and telling me that i need to do some growing. i can't get lazy with scripture study and daily prayer. which i most definitely have lately. that's the way it works. as soon as i stop doing what i need to be doing, i hit a trial, hard. not always, sometimes i hit trials when i'm doing everything i need to and when i'm trying my best. but Heavenly Father knows what He's doing. His plan is always the best. and trials just happen to be part of that plan.
sometimes i just feel like i don't know what to do or where to start to try and feel better. i don't want to have to rely on someone else to make me feel better, and i don't think i've ever really done that. i try to be independent, too independent. i shut down from everyone around me and don't talk to anyone and it's bad for me but also for my relationships. i get scared i don't want my problems to be belittled or get told that they're stupid. i'm scared of getting hurt. but i know it's an irrational fear, most of the time. i need to let go of that and talk to people. i hurt myself by bottling everything up.

but anyways, i am so happy that this church is true, i know that it is! and it is not a place for perfect people, it is for imperfect people trying to better themselves. no one is perfect but we are trying and that's what is important. i am so happy to have a loving Heavenly Father who loves me more than i could ever comprehend no matter what mistakes i may make. and i am so grateful and happy to have Jesus Christ as my savior. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be able to repent and be forgiven. i wouldn't be able to live with Heavenly Father again after this life.
i am so happy and grateful for the church leaders that help me and are so willing to do anything to help me with anything that may be going on.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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"too much"

i don't really like being praised for joining the church. it was a huge deal, don't get me wrong. but it was not "too much." sure, at the time it was really hard. and i didn't think anything could ever be worse. but looking back, that trial made me so much stronger, and despite the difficulty of it, i never once questioned my decision or even considered backing out. 

i strongly believe that if we have faith in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father's plan for us, than we should not have a single reason to say no or to postpone anything. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been the biggest blessing in my life. it has helped me so much, with many things. i am grateful for the people that have helped me through this journey, and i really do appreciate the people who support me and are proud of me for my choice. 
but i do not like being told that "it must have been awful" and "how did you do it?" and "i don't think i would have been able to do that!"
because 1) it was awful, yes. but it made me stronger and it prepared me so much for the trials that i have had to face since then. 2) i did it because i had faith. plain and simple. i had a testimony and i was converted to the gospel. 3) if you don't think you could make it through, then how do you make it through the current trials you are going through? it was hard yes, but i know that my Savior lives and came to atone for my sins. i am so grateful for the huge sacrifice that was made for me, specifically.

it takes great strength to make such a large change in one's life. change is hard and can be very scary. religion is such a broad yet specific topic. making a change of religion, most of the time, requires us to change our lifestyle a bit. 
it is hard enough to make such a huge change on your own. but to do it despite what your family, friends, or even people you don't know might say, that makes it an even greater challenge. i really hate calling it that. it is pretty accurate though. it is a challenge, just like anything else. trials are just that, challenges. and even though not everyone will be happy with the choices we make, if they love you, they will accept you, it may not be right away, but they will eventually.

my family did not accept my decision, nor did they support it. it has taken almost a year to get to the point where we can openly talk about my religion without it turning into a huge argument. but i would not change a single moment of it. and now, they accept and fully support all i do, even if it has to do with my religion.
i am who i am today, because of what i had to go through. i have the strength that i do, because of what i had to deal with. i have such a strong testimony, and i know that i have truly been converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ because of all the things that i have had to overcome. 

struggles, trials, and challenges are real. they will happen to us no matter what. i know that if that wasn't my struggle, something else would have been. if i didn't go through that, i would not be where i am now. i am so grateful for all my trials, but that one specifically, because it set the tone for what was going to come next. 

if we can't do the simple things like have faith, trust, and hope in our Heavenly Father, how in the world would we be expected to act upon our promptings? how would we be expected to overcome our difficulties? 

it really is quite simple. pray. keep that line of communication open at all times. it is so important to have that line to Heavenly father. read your scriptures. He doesn't ask much of us, but He does ask that we read. it is how we receive most of our answers. have faith. having faith can be very tough, especially when it seems like you have no faith left, but i know that if we can push through those hard times with a strong and steady faith, we will come through on the other side. and we will be much stronger for it.

Heavenly Father will never lets us down. He is the one person that is there for us 1000% of the time. He cannot and will not lead us astray. sometimes it seems that His way is much longer and much more difficult, but that is because we need to gain strength and we need to learn some more things along the way.

i know that the things i went through/are going to go through are tough. but i also know that my faith is unwavering. as long as i am doing all that i can, as long as i can push myself to be better each and every day, i will be blessed and i will be able to overcome all that comes my way.

He will never ask "too much" of us, He will push us, yes. but it will never break us, and it will never be something we cannot do or cannot handle.



xoxo,

jacquelyn

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self worth

often times, we don't give ourselves enough credit. 
we are beautifully, wonderfully, and fearfully made. { Psalm 139: 14 }
God doesn't make mistakes. no, we aren't perfect, but we are perfectly imperfect. 
Heavenly Father does not expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to try our hardest. i know that i haven't always given myself enough credit, i haven't always thought i was worthy or good enough. 
we are our worst critics, which is good and bad. it's good to be aware of the things we need to work on, but it is not okay to tear ourselves down for every little thing. 
i do it so much, and i really need to stop. 

and it's the same in our relationships. if we don't treat ourselves with respect and love, how can we expect other people to? we really can't get mad at people for not giving us the things we don't give ourselves. 
this is something that i have had the hardest time with. 
way too often, i feel like i'm the one who cares more. i'm the one who loves more. and it is great to care for and love everyone. but when we put ourselves through that, being the one that cares more, we are only going to get hurt. 
it isn't okay to be someone's convenience. it's also okay to not be someones first priority. 

i have been able to truly focus on bettering myself and i feel that i have grown so much in the past few months. i have my priorities in the right places. i am able to love myself and see my own worth. i am a catch, i am a good friend, i am a beautiful person. i know that my Heavenly Father loves me dearly. i know what i deserve, and i am not going to settle.

there comes a point in our lives when we need to get rid of the people who bring us down, no matter how hard it is. we need to get rid of the people who don't give us enough of the respect, time, love, and anything else that we need and deserve.
it's like that christina perri song, we are only human and there's only so much we can take. we are fragile, we can only bend so far backwards until we break. we can't be someone's punching bag, and we can't just be there when they need us. it needs to be a two way street. 
relationships { friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, family } take work, from both sides. if one person is trying harder, it will never work, and that person will be absolutely miserable. they will constantly be thinking and asking themselves what they're doing wrong! why doesn't that person, whoever it may be, care about them as much? when in reality, it is not their fault at all. it just isn't the right relationship for either person. one isn't ready, and one is too willing. relationships are hard, but they don't have to be. we make them far more complicated then they need to be.

*i don't want anyone to get the wrong impression from all this though. i try my very best to love everyone, but there is a difference between loving and caring for them as people, and just letting them walk all over you. it is absolutely okay to not be friends with people you once were, it is not okay for you to hate and resent them. we must forgive as Christ forgave, and love as Christ loves.
Heavenly Father expects quite a bit from us, and i don't know about you, but i don't want to let Him down any more than i already have!

Colossians 3:12   Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering;

13  Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

14  And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

15  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body: and be ye thankful.

i didn't know my worth until recently, and to be honest, i still have a hard time seeing it at times. but that's okay, it's a work in progress. if other people can't see it, then that is their loss, not mine. it is actually my gain. i don't need people who don't see my potential. i need people who are going to uplift and help me stay on the path i am on. i need people who will push me, but love me when i fail. i need tough love, but not too tough. and i know that people aren't perfect, but i also know what kind of people i do and don't need in my life.

it can be really hard to try and let those people go. you grow fond of them, you build bonds and learn to love them. the more you get to know someone, the more you start to care. it can be scary and hard to let people go, but i can promise you that if you can be strong and let go of those people who aren't giving you the respect and love you need, you will be so much happier. sometimes we need to be selfish. it isn't a sin and it isn't bad. it is important to let go and get rid of anything that weighs you down and isn't helping you.

find friends who have the same goals. people who are on the right path. people who will uplift and help you. find those people who will truly have good intentions.

keep your eyes open, you never know who will pop into your life. 

Proverbs 13: 20  He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. 

xoxo,

jacquelyn

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patience: a precious and rare virtue

so, i'm starting this new thing. every month, i'm going to try and work on something new.
i've been trying to work on kindness lately, so i decided to just start fresh, since it's a new month and all.

patience.

i really do struggle with this, quite a bit. how much i struggle depends on what it's about and what it is that i'm doing/waiting for. 
life can be hard, and at times, overwhelming. it doesn't always seem fair, but life isn't really supposed to be fair or easy. we are constantly growing and trying to be better, so of course it isn't going to be a breeze.

"How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?" -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

there is so much going on around us, all the time. 

in today's world, it shouldn't be too hard to be patient because there is always something to distract us or something else we can be focusing on. but at the same time, we live in a world where everything is at our fingertips. it is so easy to have access to almost anything, instantly: internet, friends (Facebook, instagram, twitter, texting), books, tv, music, amazon..pretty much anything and everything we want is just a click away. everything is becoming electronic. there are ebooks, which i hate, and netflix, and there's pretty much an app for anything you can think of. and because of all this "convenience," we get impatient by the smallest of things.

>>waiting in line at the store

>>waiting at red lights

>>not being connected to wifi

>>waiting for food at a restaurant

>>having to wait a few minutes for something to load, either on your phone, computer, or tablet

>>basically anything that we can't get instantly

it is pretty sad that we have this "i need it, and i need it now" mentality.

it is not realistic, not in the slightest. almost anything worth having and worth working for, takes time and effort.

-a relationship. if you want it to work out, it will not always be easy. you have to work for it, you have to truly want it. you have to be willing to make some changes and willing to work with each other. there must be patience on both sides; otherwise, it will never work. if you want someone to be patient with you, you must return that same patience. and, of course, if you want something to last forever, you must treat it differently.

-being successful in work, or any business related pursuit. you almost always have to work your way up. you don't just wake up CEO of the company you're working for. or in my case, you don't wake up a best selling author, or a photographer that everyone knows. it takes time. you need to have patience with yourself. spend time making yourself better. make improvements. don't expect it to all work out overnight. hard work pays off.

-getting back in shape. you will not be skinny or have a beach body after one week. you need to keep it up! fight for it. work for what you want. don't get too frustrated. you won't see results, and neither will anyone else, for at the very least, 4 weeks.

it's okay if you don't see progress right away. keep pushing. keep working towards your goals. one day, it will all pay off. life has a funny way of working out. 

if we could all have the "His will, not mine" mentality, the world would be so much better off. i do try my very best to remember that. i may have to force that into my head, but i always remind myself when i'm praying. 

sometimes the Lord has us wait for things, not to punish us, but so we can realize that it wasn't right for us, or so we can be even more grateful and appreciative of it, when we do get it.

lately, there has just been so much going wrong. family troubles, no luck trying to find a job, no luck with the apartment search, having to go to the police with fraud. it just seems like as soon as everything is going well, everything starts to tumble down around me. and that is when our patience is tested the most. 

not our patience with worldly things but our patience with God, and mostly, His timing.

i often wonder why things happen the way they do, and in the order they do. but once i have time to reflect and really think deeply about what's happened, i realize that i wouldn't have it any other way. the Lord's timing really is perfect. His way is so much better than my way. even though it seems like He is dragging me, kicking and screaming at times, when i look back, i see how much i've grown and how much stronger i have gotten. and then, i am entirely grateful. 

i love my trials, as odd as that may seem. they have shaped me into the person i am today. they have made me independent and strong. they make me have a sense of reality and peace. 

and even though each trial gets just a little harder, i am able to have a sense of peace and calmness; because, i know that Heavenly Father has a wonderful plan for me. when i do my best to follow Him, He never leads me astray. He is always right beside me. He guides me down the straight and narrow, as long as i am doing my part.

and i know that He does this with each and every one of us. we are His children, and He wants us to come home to Him again, one day. He loves us all so dearly. it is impossible to comprehend. 

someone once told me that the reason God gives us trials is not to punish us, but because we have been doing so well, and following Him so greatly, that He has to give us trials so we can grow even more and just get stronger and gain a deeper testimony. 

which, once i really thought about it, is entirely true. if we didn't have trials, or rough patches, we would just be cruisin' through life. and that isn't what this life is about. it is about growing and learning and trying to be as Christlike as we possibly can. and if we weren't tested, that would be completely impossible.

- God won't take away our burdens, but He will give us the strength to carry them ourselves, without being weighed down. 

Romans 5:3  ...but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope.

i know i already said this, but i just want to emphasize.

our trials make us stronger! they make us who we are! without them, we would never be able to grow and progress. 

life can suck sometimes, but, duhh, we think that because we let ourselves. 

part of patience is being positive. we can be patient, but if we are complaining the whole way, and dragging our heels, that kind of defeats the whole purpose.

instead, try to be happy, enjoy the wait { as much as possible } and do other things that make you happy while you're waiting. 

and patience is far more than waiting..we must actively wait and actively endure. 

in reality, impatience is selfishness. 

patience is letting go of yourself, and letting God take the wheel. and that can be hard, and really scary sometimes because we don't always know where He is taking us.

but it really can't be anywhere bad. He is our loving Heavenly Father and His plan for each of us is wonderful. and it may not be our plan, but it is always 100000x better. 

patience and trust go hand in hand a lot of the time.

think of how patient the Lord is with us, we can try a little harder to be patience, both with Him, and His children.

the effort is what really counts, just make the effort. do it.

xoxo,

jacquelyn 

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trust

sometimes, life can get the best of us. it is so hard. i feel like i just can't handle it or do it anymore. it's just so overwhelming.
so much is going on, and it is difficult to even think. i don't know.

all i know is that Heavenly Father will always be there for us. He is the one person who is always listening. it is hard to receive our answer, sometimes, but if we are able to listen closely, it is possible. we have to read our scriptures to get our answers.

even when it feels like my whole world is crashing down around me, i can feel peace and comfort { most of the time }.
it is so important for us to understand that Heavenly Father's plan for us, is not always our plan. but His plan is always better.

trust is the biggest factor in our relationship with Heavenly Father. we have to trust Him 100%. all the time and with every question we ask and decision we make.
recently, i've had to make some really hard, and really large life decisions. it wasn't easy, and it wasn't a quick answer. i had to work to find my answer. i had to put in effort. and i didn't really like the answers i was getting, but i just had to have faith and trust. i know that if it's His will, He will pull me through it.
God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. right now, i feel like i can't handle anymore...but i know that there is always rain before the rainbow. it is hard for me to remember that some { a lot } of the time, but that's okay. i read my scriptures and pray and go to the temple as much as i can. i know that through those things, through my efforts, the Lord will meet me in the middle and give me the answers i am seeking.

Mark 9:23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

xoxo,

jacquelyn

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#ldsconf

oh my goodness! where do i even start?
conference is always amazing and truly speaks to us all in different ways! it is crazy how it seems like they are speaking only to me, specifically, at times.
if you have no clue what i'm talking about, i suggest you click here. i promise, you won't be disappointed.
the prophet, apostles, and other general authorities are so wonderful. it is amazing how each and every talk is different; yet, somehow, they all come together! i am happy to say i watched every single session. women's, priesthood, and of course the regular saturday and sunday sessions.
just because you aren't a women or a priesthood holder, absolutely does not mean you can't get something out of every session. there is always something that applies to us all.

President Uchtdorf's talk was spot on. it was everything i needed to hear and then some. it answered every question i had and is something i really needed help with.
gratefulness. that word is sometimes hard to understand, and sometimes seems impossible. it seems like the biggest word in the world at times.
but i know it is a simple thing that everyone could really work on.
each and everyday has some sort of challenge within it that we must overcome. sometimes it is so small, we don't even realize it. other times, it seems like our world could come crashing down at any time.

lately, my life has been more on the side of crashing down around me..
so many things are going on. there is so much i need to do. i feel like the bad news just never stops coming. i get insecure with my decisions. family problems seem to just be getting worse. i just feel sad all the time. my mom is putting so much pressure on me. i feel like i'm failing my parents. i'm always everyone else's shoulder to cry on. why can't someone be mine?

despite all those things, there are always things to be grateful for..
i'm healthy. i have a loving Heavenly Father. bad news and trials will make me stronger. there is always rain before a rainbow. blessings come from being faithful through trials. these things will make me stronger. my family is close enough that we can all be there for each other. being sad is a choice - choose happiness. my mom putting pressure on me means she is trusting me. my parents will always love me. people trust me enough to be their shoulder to cry on. i am a beautiful daughter of a King whose love will never fail me.

life is about perspective. if we have a negative attitude and just an all around bad attitude, we really won't get anywhere.
but if we are able to understand that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, than we will be able to make it through anything. we have to be grateful for our trials and heartaches. without those things, we wouldn't be able to get stronger, we would be able to progress.
this life is about progression, without it, where would we be? where would we be going? would we be the people we are now?
i highly doubt it.

we have to try and remember that we are His sheep. He will always leave the 99 to find just one. we are that important to Him. He is the most loving and perfect and wonderful Father we could ever ask for. Matthew 18: 12-13. read it.

just a few of my favorite quotes from conference (they are not all word for word)
>> is it worth it to take a stand? yes, it is. -Holland
>> flow true righteousness. -Holland
>> act on your beliefs. -Amado
>> change our wants and desires - and be humble enough to ask for help! -Reeves
>> God expects us to follow His commandments no matter what the world says. -Anderson
>> sometimes you must stand alone. -Anderson
>> our duties may be difficult, but that's because we are aiming for eternity. -Eyring
>> faith is the antidote of fear. -Nelson
>> live your religion - be securely tied to God. -Nelson
>> one thing to make life even sweeter - even joyful - is being grateful. -Uchtdorf
>> gratitude is a way of life. -Uchtdorf
>> we resist endings because we are eternal beings. -Uchtdorf
>> the gospel is not weights - it is wings - it carries us through. -Sister Stevens
>> the atonement makes up for our mistakes, but don't abuse it. -Stevenson
>> make your faith so strong that you won't hesitate to drop everything in service. -Walker
>> recognize when you have enough - you don't need the newest and latest. -Teh
>> don't have hard feelings toward God. -Teh

i missed the last talk and President Monson's talk. but i am so excited to watch them!

it is really important for us all to remember the words of our past and present prophets. they are here to help us. they are our source for knowledge and goodness.
they may be quite a bit older, but they understand the trouble and temptation we are faced with. they love us and want us to do our best in this life.

i encourage everyone - member or not- to listen to just one of these talks. they are beautifully worded, and i can guarantee that you will get something out of it.


xoxo,

jacquelyn 

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a whole year

March 3rd, 2013. wow, that day was scary/intense/the greatest day ever, to say the least!
looking back it honestly seems so silly. i remember i had to sneak out of my house and have Sonny pick me up, to take me to church, because my mom took my keys. my parents [ mostly mom ] did everything they could to prevent it from happening. but i knew that this is true and i knew it was exactly what i needed to do.
i can't believe it's been a whole year since that day! it's crazy to see how far i've come! 
>> i entered the waters exactly one year ago. 
and i can honestly say, it is one of the greatest decisions i've ever made. it was also one of the hardest. it was so easy once i knew it was true, but it was so hard once i told my parents. they hated the idea of me being mormon. 
i got every reason in the book. it was a cult. they still believe in polygamy. they don't honor Mary or the saints. they believe we can all be gods. they're way too secretive. 
i heard it all. and it's funny because none of that is true! but it was hard to explain through the yelling and the tears. 
anyways, i know that i made the right choice, and i also know that i am doing what the Lord needs me to do.

it took me 4 months to learn that the church was true, 4 months to learn enough to know it was the right place for me. when you know, you know. 
i got kicked out of my house a few times, just for a few days at a time though. and i got the cold shoulder from my parents for what seemed like forever. it was so hard and there were some very hurtful things thrown my way. 
but looking back, i laugh. my parents and i have never been closer than we are right now, despite everything that has happened. the Lord works in great ways and most of the time we don't really see it! it is so amazing that he does so much for me! my parents aren't huge fans of the church, but they accept and love me. that is really all i could ask for. my mom is my best friend, and i couldn't imagine having to go through life without her being that. my dad is my number one fan and my biggest supporter, and i don't know what i would do if i ever lost that.

i know that this church is true and i know that i am exactly where i need to be. doing what i need to be doing. 
when i first got baptized, going on a mission was out of the question. but here i am, getting my endowments in 12 days, and going on a mission in 107. i cannot wait. i have never been this excited for something! i know that i'm going where i'm needed and that the things i will be teaching are true! 
it is such a blessing and such a saving grace to know that i am fulfilling God's plan for me.

i love this church and i love that everything fits together. it is all perfect in every way. the church and it's teachings are perfect, the people are not. and that's okay! we're not supposed to be perfect, we're just supposed to try our very hardest to live like Jesus did.

i am eternally grateful to those who helped me get this far, and those who were there for me every step of the way. and especially those who taught me and brought me to the gospel! 
you da best!

>> so grateful for this kid! 

>> one of the greatest days ever!

  >> the day i got my call to go to Australia Sydney South!!


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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the best

sundays are for sure my favorite days. they are so uplifting and make me so happy. i know that it is so important for me right now, and also, for future me, to go to church and learn all that i can. it's important for my happiness, wellbeing, spirituality, and so i can become closer and closer to my Heavenly Father. 

i know it's absolutely crazy that we { mormons } go to church for three whole hours. like what?
why so long? what could you possibly be doing for three hours?
well we have different classes, each hour has a different teacher and has a different message. we split up differently each hour. for a more in depth answer you can click here.
i know that we all have our own busy lives, but i also know that if we can just put aside sometime each day, specifically for Heavenly Father, we will be greatly blessed.

i love this church and know that it is true with all my heart and all my soul. the spirit testifies it to me everyday in some way. i know when i'm doing something good or making the right choices; because, i will have such an overwhelmingly wonderful feeling, burning in my bosom. and it goes the other way too, if i'm doing something bad, or not even bad, just not something that would not allow me to feel the spirit and grow, that great feeling goes away. once that feeling is gone, it is fairly easy to get it back again, but we have to truly repent and when we repent, we are telling Heavenly Father not only sorry, but that we will try our absolute best to avoid doing it again.
i cant wait to start my mission and bring others closer to our Heavenly Father, but that doesn't mean i'm going to wait until then to start! no, i'm going to do my very best to be a member missionary. i love this church so much and i want all of God's children to know just how much they mean to Him, and just how much He loves them! it is so exciting when someone will really listen to you! i don't want to just sit there and preach to people, i want to teach them and have them truly understand that this is the true church, and this is the way Heavenly Father wants us to go. it makes me so happy to see people willing to learn and accept these teachings. 

we had a baptism today, and it reminded me so much of my own baptism. the spirit was so strong and he was so happy. he was so prepared and ready to receive the message. it is so humbling to see someone admit that this is true and the moment they do, it seems like a light is turned on. they just have a glow. even before they're baptized. once they realize this is true and that this is the way, and they are willing to accept and act on it, their smile seems bigger.

i love sundays. they truly are the best, not just because we get the great blessing to attend church, but because we also receive the sacrament, and have beautiful people to teach us beautiful lessons. it is a time to learn and a time to relax. sundays are recovery days and preparation days. it is time to rest up for the coming week, and to learn and come closer to our Father in Heaven.

so blessed.


xoxo,

jacquelyn

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temple tours

i know it's not the same as going inside the temple, but i think it can be just as uplifting (i probably wont think that in two-ish weeks though) 
but still, i just love the temple grounds. it is so comforting to just walk around and feel the spirit. i really love seeing everything. when i'm on the temple grounds, it just seems like all the flowers are brighter, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer and more mesmerizing, and the temple itself is just spectacular and perfect in every way.
i really cannot wait until the day i get to go inside. that day is coming so fast. in just 20 short days, i get to go inside and see the temple in all its glory! i finally get to learn and understand and just take it all in. i am just so excited.
as soon as i see it, i automatically am speechless. i just love to look at it and be close to it. when i move, i definitely have to make sure the temple is as close as possible haha. but forreals, i already love it there.
the day i get to go inside is going to be amazing.

march 15, 2014. that is my day. and nothing else in the world matters. it is going to be beautiful and so amazing. i already know it.

i definitely have a few favorites haha. everyone does, whether they admit it or not!
definitely not in any order, but i cant wait to visit them all!

 fort lauderdale, fl.

 houstin, tx.

 logan, ut. (the one i will be sealed in)

 manhattan, ny.

 mount timpanogos, ut.

 salt lake city, ut.

washington dc.

 guayaguil, equador.

 las angeles, ca.

 oakland, ca.

 tegucigalpa, honduras.

 toronto, ontario. 

vancouver british columbia. 

sorry if that was overwhelming. i have a lot of favorites haha. i would love to go to any and all of them though. and one day maybe i'll visit at least a few of these!
and if you're interested in knowing/learning more about these sacred places, just click here.

xoxo,

jacquelyn 

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